I don't know where this is coming from, but I have the urge to blog about my job tonight. I usually try to keep my blog posts light, maybe amusing or something useful, so sorry if I am boring or rambling. I have been in a weird place with my job. I have been there 3 years now, so I am starting to feel more comfortable, have made some great friends and have been challenged. Recently, I have been feeling a little burned out. I haven't really said much to anyone besides Mark. I love the babies I take care of, but all the extra drama has really been weighing on me. Some days its all I can do, to go to work. Sometimes the only thing that gets me there are the people I work with, some of my dearest friends. They are always there to pick me up and make me smile. They are the only other people that know exactly how I am feeling. That is such a blessing. The other thing that has gotten me there have been my primary babies I have taken care of. Tonight on my way home I started thinking about the primary babies I have taken care of over the past year/year and half. I become overwhelmed with a feeling of happiness and I was actually proud of myself. Over this time, I haven been blessed with some amazing families. Parents who play such an active role in their preemie's care, parents who love their babies through all of their struggles, parents who remain positive and hopeful, parents who so openly welcome me into their lives at desperate times, parents who trust me, parents who share their families with me, parents who care about me in return, and parents that keep in touch with me even when their babies are home and the last thing thay want to think about is the NICU. As I was helping my most recent primaries today, I sat back and watched them as they were able to feed their baby safely and I saw this storybook happniess picture. I started smiling and thought " I love helping these people". The satisfaction I felt was something I haven't felt in awhile. So then I thought about all my primaries and realized that as much as I have helped them, they have helped me ten more times. They have opened my eyes to a part of me that is so important to who I am as a person. I feel a sense of energy rush from this and maybe, hopefully the burned out feeling I have been feeling will start to go away. Thanks you primaries, thank you to the wonderful parents who have welcomed me into their lives, thank you co workers for lifting me up and Thank you God I have the ability to help others and do something that makes me happy. Ok...really glad I got that out
Becca - you are one of the most naturally talented NCU nurses I have ever seen. Once I got over the initial jealousy that made me feel (this is a true statement, not just a build you up statement) I learned to just watch you and learn. I think burn out has got to be a normal cycle of what we do. It is essential to maintain your work feelings, just like you do a marriage. Because if you don't take care of it, it will fall apart. I have to let myself vent about things to keep my head in the game. What we do requires so much skill and stress. Don't underestimate the "heart" that goes into what we do. It takes a toll. And stop trying to make out with Val every day.
ReplyDeleteWe are so thankful for people like you!!! I can't imagine how stressful your job is at times, but, know how much we appreciate it :-) (Andrew too!!)
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