3 for 3

So on Monday, our anniversary I had the joy of being present to welcome my third nephew, Andrew (Drew) Howard Bajorek. He was born Monday afternoon to the proud parents my brother Tim and sister in law Shonda. I was present at both Alex and Evan's birth so I was so happy my schedule allowed me to be there...It never gets old watching babies be born, especially ones you will instantly love. I can't imagine the feeling of seeing my own baby be born and how much love I will feel because this little person Drew melted my heart from the first second! I am so happy for Tim and Shonda. Shonda made birth look easy and natural. At one point I thought I should leave because this natural looking birth was setting me up for disappointment when I go in for my first birth. I can't express how great she did, she was and (still is) amazing! I also had a fun time going to pick up Alex and Evan from their babysitter, they were silly as ever and so excited to go to see baby Drew. They were gently with and wanted to give the baby lots of kisses. It was a beautiful sight to see, a new family of 5. I am thankful for this wonderful gift that Tim and Shonda have shared with me. I can't wait to get to know this little person better espcially alongside of his new cousin that will be here in 9 weeks!!!

Weekend Recap and Some Random Thoughts

I had a great time in New Jersey with sister Mar Beth and brother in law Brian. Despite some minor flying issues, I managed to get there only a few hours late it was a relaxing weekend and just what I needed. I got some QT with my sister, we talked a lot about baby, did some baby shopping and registering. She caught me up to date with the latest in their life and it was nice to see her little life she has created with Brian. I also got to see my uncle, cousin and 95 year old grandma. My sweet old grandma was cracking me up, she had her hair done, her lipstick on and was ready for some company. She recently got a motorized wheelchair, but is refusing to use it. Brian and I had no problem testing it out, after running into numerous things in her house and crying because I was laughing so hard, Granny was getting mad so we had to put it away. We had a nice lunch and then story time began. Granny told me every story she could think of...I just held her hand and listened. She is the sweetest old lady and is just lonely. Makes me miss her bunches, but I know she is in good hands with her Polish caretaker and family around her. I couldn't help but think of my child sitting there with my mother in 20 years...it will go fast.  I had a great time with Mary Beth, I miss her and can't wait to see her in July.

Now I am home, Mark is gone on business for a little bit and I have a few days off. I have a made a to do list a mile long, but yet I sit here blogging. None of the stuff is urgent, except my research homework, but I did most of it yesterday. I looked at my calendar and I only have like 5 free 2 day weekends left until the baby comes. Not very much time, for the amount of things I have to be doing. We are planning on looking at cribs next week...most people probably are cringing that I haven't ordered my crib yet, but Im not worried about it. It will all get done, as long as I don't go on bedrest I'll be good. I have not had the desire to get started on the room yet or anything else, because in my head, my baby is not even viable yet. I mean, if I had the baby today, it would not survive and coming home to a nursery would be miserable. I know that is grim and dim but it is the truth. Oh the joys of working in the NICU. When it comes down to it, I am scared...scared something will happen to this baby, something I can't control. If this was my first pregnancy I wonder if I would feel this way?! I wish I could be naive and not know what it feels like, but I am not. I am scared...I want this baby...I want it be healthy...I want a chubby little monster to take home....but I am not guaranteed that yet...I know there are still risks after the 24 week mark, the only way I will be able to relax is when that baby is in my arms. So does it really matter if my nursery is perfect and complete? Not in my mind it doesn't. I am enjoying this pregnancy, I am enjoying being pregnant, but it is a cautious feeling that only people that have had miscarriages can understand. I am bonding with this baby in my own way, but it has nothing to do with buying things for the baby...that is the least important thing for me right now.  So hang in there with me friends, Im sorry if I'm stressing you out, or seem heartless, or whatever your thoughts of me are. Mark and I will figure this out...We have it under control. We are creating our family and I love how we are doing it. Alright off to check some things off my list...

This Weekend...

Today I am off to visit my sister Mary Beth in New Jersey. This trip could not have come at a better time for me and probably for her even though she won't admit it. This was kind of spur of the moment trip, about a month ago I looked at Mark and said " I need to go see my sister" I don't know why I felt like that all of a sudden, but I missed her. I felt tiny tugs at my heart for her and I knew I needed to go. The relationship between my sister and I is a different one. We are complete opposites and growing up that caused a lot of fights and not getting along. As we have gotten older, that has changed. I have come to appreciate our differences. Mary Beth, MB, Beezer is the most trustworthy person I know and the most generous. I know if I needed something, she would hop on the first plane and be here. It sucks that we live so far apart and her job ( Secret Service Agent...yea she's a badass) doesn't allow her much time off. Like I said, the trip is perfect timing for me. I need a break from all of this stuff going on around here. I have not started anything for baby (all I have is a breast pump and some clothes from my triplet family) and it just hasn't hit me to get started yet...more on that another time. Well MB wants to take me and do some baby stuff this weekend...maybe starting my registry...and honestly for the first time I'm excited to do this with her. She will take away all my anxieties and it will be fun. I LOVE her! Ok I don't want her head to get too big :) So I'm off for 4 days and loving it!!!!

Lilly and Diana's Baptism

It was Lilly and Diana's Baptism this past Saturday. My parents came over on Friday and Tim, Shonda and the boys were here Saturday. It was a crazy busy weekend, but also a very fun and special weekend. When everyone left on Sunday, I just looked at Mark and said " I am truly happy when I am with my family" And it is so true, some of my happiest times are when we are all together. I did miss my sister and I know it's hard for her to be away from everyone...I can't imagine!

As for the baptism, Lilly and Diana did great. They didn't cry at all during church and were such troopers being passed around all night (of course, I had nothing to do with that!) It was such a memory making day and I'm glad I got to be apart of it. The girls baptism gowns were made by Lauren's aunt and they included pieces from Lauren's mom's wedding dress... As she said " They were wrapped in Grandma's Love" It was an emotional day and I know I kept thinking about Lauren's parents so I can't imagine how her family felt. My dad kept reminding me that they were definitely there and looking down on us. OK...here are a few highlights!