Back to School....Back to School....

So I started my last "core" class in the PNP course track this week. Nursing theory is what the class is called...hmmm...not sure what to expect. All I know is that it is 3 credit hours, online, I have a lot of reading to do and it better be manageable while on maternity leave :) I am slightly nervous about how I will juggle this, but taking the semester off was not an option for me. Deep down I think it will be okay, I might have to let go of the need to get an A, and I am trying to get ahead of the game a bit. Hopefully Baby Franks will sleep enough to let me sleep enough so I can stay awake to let me read what I need to read. It will be a challenge I am sure, but I have to remind myself of the end prize...OPTIONS in my career. I do have to share about the book we are required to read. It is called "Microbe Hunters" and here is a brief summary:

In Microbe Hunters, Paul de Kruif joins together twelve short biographies of thirteen significant individuals in the sciences of bacteriology and immunology. De Kruif directs his attention largely toward the great nineteenth and twentieth century pioneers in the struggle against microbial diseases: Louis Pasteur, Robert Koch, Walter Reed, and Paul Ehrlich. He also takes note, however, of such lesser-known figures as Theobald Smith, David Bruce, Ronald Ross, and Battista Grassi, as well as two prenineteenth century researchers of microbes, the early... BLAH BLAH BLAH

Now doesn't that sound extremely interesting? Uhh not to me! I'm sure it will be a struggle, but maybe I'll enjoy it...it is all about a positive attitude right?!  And who knows maybe Baby Franks will grow up to  be a scientist who studies bacteria?! ( I hope not!)

Things I Love Right Now!

So I was browsing the Urban Outfitters website this morning and I came up with a current wish list....I have been eyeing shower curtains for awhile now, waiting for the "perfect" one to catch my eye for our master bath. And of course I'm always looking for duvet covers for our room and guest room. It's an easy way to freshen up the room. I hae already been eyeing things for fall, everything about fall is my weakness...I ADORE fall! Unfortunately this is a wish list as our money will be going towards diapers and nipple cream :) But hey, I hear the trade off is worth it!

These bandaids made me crack up...probablynot appropriate for a little kid :)

35 weeks

Celebrating 35 weeks....Another good milestone! 5 weeks or less (hopefully) until we get to meet this little alien. I am ready to put a face and name to Baby Franklin. The good news is that Baby Franks flipped and is officially HEAD DOWN! I am so thrilled about this...I did not want a csection and even though it is still an option it is not the only option. I have been alright. I have definitely slowed down a LOT! I had a slight setback this week with come contractions and other issues, which sent me home from work and some "mini bedrest" for the weekend. So I am taking it easy which is extremely difficult for me. I want to be up and about and doing what I need to, but I guess I have no control at this point! Pretty much all the stuff is done for baby, we are waiting for curtains, but that is it. We need to put the car seat in and I guess pack a hospital bag, but that is not really stressing me out. I feel as ready as I will be. Now it is a waiting game, hopefully not in bed for the next couple of weeks.  Oh yea and I start school on Monday...Just one class...but looking at the syllabus is a bit overwhelming. Ill figure it out and get through it. Looks like quite a bit of reading so hopefully I will be able to keep my eyes open and get it done. So there is the update...not much going on. Mark is good...spending any free moment on the golf course...I think he knows those trips will be a bit less in a few weeks.  Alright Happy Friday!

My Boys

Last weekend was my nephew Alex's 4th Birthday celebration. Mark and I headed down Friday night to have some QT with Alex, Evan and the newest addition Drew. Have I ever mentioned that I love these boys?! They crack me up, make me smile and make me so happy! Alex is really into dressing up like an "adult" like he is going to work like daddy. He likes to wear dress shirts, ties and blazers. When he is not wearing those he is really in to pirates...he is so stinking cute.  Oh yea and they had their faces painted at their babysitters on Friday. Evan has the most energy I have seen in a kid, he is really in to star wars so everything is a lightsaber. And Drew, just goes with the flow, as long as he is being held, which was NO problem for me!

Notice the tie, blazer and of course pirate sword

Alex and I being silly Saturday morning

Uncle Mark and Evan being silly

 Evan was practicing taking pictures

Alex all dressed up and ready for his party... Makes me smile!


Have I mentioned that I adore these boys!!!



Cake Batter Cookies

Cake Batter Cookies! Very easy and delicious! They have a slightly different taste to them then original chocolate chip coookies. Between Mark and his friends they were gobbled up quickly!

From Stephanie Cooks

Source: All Recipes

Ingredients:
1 (18.25 oz.) box cake mix
1 tsp. baking powder
2 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:
1- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2-In a medium bowl, stir together the cake mix and baking powder. Add eggs and oil, then mix until well blended. (It was a bit crumbly for me so I used my hands to really mix it well- it's not as smooth as typical dough.)
3-Stir in chocolate chips, or your choice of additions. Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto cookie sheets.
4- Bake for 10 minutes in the preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheets for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Baby Franklin's Shower

A few weeks ago was my baby shower in Columbus hosted by my wonderful mother. My mom went above and beyond to make Mark and I and Baby Franklin feel so special= she is so good at that! We all had a great time and we got lots of "needed" things for Baby Franks. One of the best parts was that my sister Mary Beth drove in from New Jersey. We don't get to see each other all that often so it meant so much she was there...I wish she was closer...selfishly she has no idea how much I could use her here! We had a great time! Overall, I left feeling excited for our new addition. I felt extremely humbled by the generosity of our family and friends. Thank you everyone for helping us celebrate Baby Franklin!

Fun Decoration

Signature Carol (my mom)

Dolls I played with when I was little

Diaper Cake

Beautiful Flowers

Cake- it was delicious!

My sister MB hard at work!

Opening presents!

My flower girl Belle= ADORABLE

Loved this piggy bank!

In love with this diaper bag from Mary Beth

My favorite tiny cousin Brody

Finally a bump picture! It is not much so hope no one is disappointed! This is at 30 weeks!

*Must Remember to Teach My Kid*

So after an experience today at the tire store, I must make a mental note to teach my son/daughter this...

If it's a girl and she is abnormally tall (like her mother)-  I must teach her that she will get hit on for being tall, people (men) are slightly obsessed with tall women. I don't know what the obsession is but I can't even begin to tell you how true this is. The worst pick up line is "So I have to ask, How tall ARE you?" and/or "I have always wanted to date a tall woman!" I have heard these numerous times and mainly as introductory lines or in the first 30 seconds of conversation. It makes me laugh, because it is so ridiculous. Some guy told me I was intimidating today because I was tall and he liked that about me. I will tell my daughter that if a boy uses this line on her to run far far away...Pretty much the only boy I ever dated that has never asked me that has been Mark...my husband. I was so trained to talk about this with my dates, the first night Mark and I hung out I told him numerous times that I was 6'2 and he just kept looking at me wondering if he should be impressed or not!

If it's a boy- I would love for you to date a tall woman, nothing made more irked when a beautiful tall man was dating a 5 '2 girl, I always wanted to go smack them and tell them to date someone their own size. BUT please do not ever use this horrible pick up line on a tall girl. Also, when a woman is wearing a wedding ring and 8 months pregnant, please do not hit on her and act like you don't see the ring OR the baby bump. And lastly please DO NOT tell her " She doesn't look pregnant from the back, if you know what I am saying!" It will make you look like a fool!

Ok parenting lessons on being tall= CHECK!

Why My Job Really Sucks Sometimes...

Everyone knows I work in the Newborn ICU, but a lot of people do not realize how the job can be sometimes. A lot of people think we hold and feed babies all day. Yes, there are some days you hold babies and feed babies most of the day, but no one realizes sometimes feeding babies is like feeding a rock..our tiny babies do not like to eat at first and it can be frustrating. Some days or weeks go by and I do not even hold one baby because they are too sick to hold. Yes, I have gone a couple weeks without holding a baby at my job and when I finally do I realize how wonderful it really is and how hard it is to take care of sick kids.

This has been on my mind a lot lately as currently our unit is busy and has a lot of sad things happen. It might also have to do with that fact that if I wouldn't have miscarried back in November, our first baby would be here or the fact that our second baby will be here in a few short weeks and I might be slightly panicking inside. People think that since I take care of babies all day  I will know exactly what to do, and yes I know how to change a diaper, hold a baby, clothe a baby etc...but I have no idea HOW to be a mom, I have no idea how I will be with MY OWN child, and that scares me. I have visions of what I will be like, but they could totally change and they could be unrealistic or it could happen as I have imagined...fear of the unknown is not one of my strong points. I am already thinking about how it will be when I am pregnant for the 3rd time...how will it be different, will I miscarry again? My biggest fear is to have to go through that again. A friend recently miscarried and as I was listening to her story it stirred up so many emotions. I listened to the pain in her voice and saw the tears as she just said " I wanted THAT baby, I'm sure I can get pregnant again, but I wanted THAT one, why couldn't I have THAT one?" It made me cringe and want to vomit, remembering those feelings. I felt so much empathy for her, but did a terrible job of conveying it. I came home thinking of my own loss and how I felt the exact same way.

Following all of that, I had probably one of the worst days of my life at work. A micro preemie, who had been in our nursery forever was doing very well, taking bottles, getting ready to move into an open crib and on his way out the door. Baby's mom came in for the 2:30 feeding and left...the RN taking care of that baby hooked up the baby's feed at 5:30, at 6:00pm the baby dropped his heart rate and we never got it back...We performed CPR on that baby for almost 45 minutes, we never got it back and the baby died...before the parents could get there. Not only was it s stressful code trying everything we could for this baby, the baby died in the nurses arms, and the parents had to walk in and see their baby had not made it. We do not know why this baby died and I'm not sure we ever will, but  to hear the parents grief was more then I could handle as I rubbed my own baby belly...I just could never imagine that situation and here I am living it with another family...it was cruel...Selfishly I thought about our baby and what Mark and I would do and I wanted to curl up and shut my mind off.  But you have to keep going on at your job, the worst part is walking out of the hospital to go and see that the world just goes on no matter what...something I will never understand. Seeing stuff like this at work makes my job suck a lot sometimes. It makes it hard to go back. The only comfort is the support of the other nurses and having faith there is a reason for all of this, but it is hard. I am ready to go back and snuggle with a tiny 5 pounder and I think I am ready to snuggle my own sure to be ginormous baby. Thanks for letting me vent!