Monday, April 25, 2011

I'm in Overdrive....

Probably in part to the excited anxiety I have about my ultra sound tomorrow morning. Thinking this could potentially be my last ultra sound before I get to see my baby on their birthday makes me nervous, I need to take it all in...asborb every second, no every milisecond...I'm excited to see the little "alien" as I have deemed him/her, I want to see it move, roll, toes, fingers, and heartbeat. I slightly want to see their downstairs area, but with no one telling me ...haha! See I have been team green since I think before I was in college. I always knew I wanted the surprise in the delivery and when I am working in the delivery and the parents don't know I get the chills...I figured this is the way for me...Until I met Mark...Mark and his family NEVER do surprises, they are the WORST at them (sorry Franklin's!) I always know my Christmas, birthday and anniversary presents before, no secrets, no surprises. Mark is DYING to find out what we are having. He is slightly convincing me this is the way I need to be as well. We have argued discuss the pro's and con's of finding out vs. not finding out and I can tell you that I still don't want to find out, but there is a HUGE part of me that wants to give in and blame it on my hubby...soo tomorrow morning 9:30 my temptation will be put to the test...I feel I will not sway, but who knows when I see that little love bug on the screen...Im praying for strength tonight for BOTH Mark and I. The anxiety of wondeing if everything is formed properly is something I can't entertain for long in my mind, it drives me nuts. I think of the WORST situations possible and I am offering that up and trusting I can deal with whatever is put on plate tomorrow....Hopefully I will have some good pics to share!

Also the past few weeks have been jam-packed. With the winding down of the school semester, deciding to take summer classes to lighten my load in the fall, work, family, and so on...It felt good to have a day off today with nothing to do, but I am a CRAZY woman. I decided the best way to spend my day today was cleaning baseboards...REALLY? I was moving furniture on my hands and knees out closets, doing laundry, making list after list of things I "need to get done"...Im in overdrive. I think Im starting to slightly panic about all we have to do to get ready for baby, on top of our packed summer schedule. I'm starting to stress about nursery, because I have NO CLUE what I want to do, how it will all come to together...My clothes are starting to not fit, maternity clothes are too big, I'm getting a thicker stomach region, need to figure something out. Life could always be busier I know...I just need to organize me thoughts and schedule, but somehow when I start to do this, I tell myself to take a nap...haha! Im hoping after tomorrow, my anxiety will be quieted and I can get to business! Tell me I'm not crazy here!

Alright, enough venting right now...Time to get back to list making... :) Will update tomorrow!

1 comment: