We Survived

Well...we made it!!! We survived our ultra sound...it was wonderful! I loved seeing baby again...my oh my how it has grown since last time. Mark was in shock about how different it looked from our 10 week one. I must start out by saying that I planned on waking up early showering and getting ready for our big day...well I overslept, my hair was slightly wet, I manage to put some cover up on my every increasing acne since pregnancy and get out the door to only be 5 minutes late to the appointment. I was rushed and anxious and not how I wanted to start the day. Then we got a different ultra sound tech then last time, this was ok...she was nice, but  not overly friendly and as Mark put it " She was all about her J O B!" So I felt like she was kind of rushing through things and semi insensitive to the fact that we were unsure about wanting to find out or not. I explained I was a NICU nurse and I wanted her to slow down and explain everything she was doing...she did, but I wasn't impressed. I guess I need to get over that because our baby is HEALTHY! 10 fingers, 10 toes, 4 chamber heart, closed spinal cord, closed abdominal wall, no cleft lip and intact brain. How amazing is that?! Thank God for a healthy baby. We eventually decided we did not want to find the sex, the tech assured those downstairs parts looked normal and that was good enough for us. So we are still Team Green. We did get a look at the genitals but we had no idea what we were looking at, I really couldn't tell...DANG! haha! SO it is over, we have a healthy baby, and we survived the temptation. Loved watching Mark through all of this, he was so sweet, just looking in amazement...He is going to be such a good dad! So now it is time to move on to the next step, which I don't even know what that is, but Im working on figuring that out. Thanks for listening to my anxieties over the past 2 days! I can't believe I am really pregnant....lets get this show on the road!!!



Baby's Face, hand up by the mouth (that is not it's penis mom!) Two eyes and an adorable Bajorek Polish Nose



Non 3-D, profile, sticking it's gorilla lips out (thanks Franklin's) curled in a ball, can see the spine!

I'm in Overdrive....

Probably in part to the excited anxiety I have about my ultra sound tomorrow morning. Thinking this could potentially be my last ultra sound before I get to see my baby on their birthday makes me nervous, I need to take it all in...asborb every second, no every milisecond...I'm excited to see the little "alien" as I have deemed him/her, I want to see it move, roll, toes, fingers, and heartbeat. I slightly want to see their downstairs area, but with no one telling me ...haha! See I have been team green since I think before I was in college. I always knew I wanted the surprise in the delivery and when I am working in the delivery and the parents don't know I get the chills...I figured this is the way for me...Until I met Mark...Mark and his family NEVER do surprises, they are the WORST at them (sorry Franklin's!) I always know my Christmas, birthday and anniversary presents before, no secrets, no surprises. Mark is DYING to find out what we are having. He is slightly convincing me this is the way I need to be as well. We have argued discuss the pro's and con's of finding out vs. not finding out and I can tell you that I still don't want to find out, but there is a HUGE part of me that wants to give in and blame it on my hubby...soo tomorrow morning 9:30 my temptation will be put to the test...I feel I will not sway, but who knows when I see that little love bug on the screen...Im praying for strength tonight for BOTH Mark and I. The anxiety of wondeing if everything is formed properly is something I can't entertain for long in my mind, it drives me nuts. I think of the WORST situations possible and panic...so I am offering that up and trusting I can deal with whatever is put on plate tomorrow....Hopefully I will have some good pics to share!

Also the past few weeks have been jam-packed. With the winding down of the school semester, deciding to take summer classes to lighten my load in the fall, work, family, and so on...It felt good to have a day off today with nothing to do, but I am a CRAZY woman. I decided the best way to spend my day today was cleaning baseboards...REALLY? I was moving furniture on my hands and knees scrubbing...cleaning out closets, doing laundry, making list after list of things I "need to get done"...Im in overdrive. I think Im starting to slightly panic about all we have to do to get ready for baby, on top of our packed summer schedule. I'm starting to stress about nursery, because I have NO CLUE what I want to do, how it will all come to together...My clothes are starting to not fit, maternity clothes are too big, I'm getting a thicker stomach region, need to figure something out. Life could always be busier I know...I just need to organize me thoughts and schedule, but somehow when I start to do this, I tell myself to take a nap...haha! Im hoping after tomorrow, my anxiety will be quieted and I can get to business! Tell me I'm not crazy here!

Alright, enough venting right now...Time to get back to list making... :) Will update tomorrow!

My night with Lilly and Diana

I got the pleasure of watching my nieces Lilly and Diana last night. We had such a good time, 2 kids is not easy by any means, I was glad to get home and go to BED! The girls sometimes are a bit fussy at night time, but last night they were in a great mood so I kept them up past their bedtime and taugh them this new trick! We were laughing, hugging and kissing, and playing around. It was so fun! Here are a few videos of them!

Can we say adorable!!!

Week 16 and 17

This week I started my 17th week...crazy to think! Week 16 and 17 were nothin too much to speak of. I have been feeling pretty good, having some more energy, and starting to think about all I have to do in the upcoming weeks. I kind of feel like I am in holding pattern, I feel it is to early to start doing anything for the nursery (not that I have a clue what I want to do!) I just feel stuck...So Im reminding myself that I need to just relax and enjoy this part of my pregnancy. I have not felt any movement yet, Im still saying it is gas bubbles...I want a hard kick..unrealistic I know, but I want to know for sure! I am still wearing my regular clothes, sometimes at night unbuttoning the top button. I feel like I have a little pooch, but Mark thinks I am making it up. My next ultra sound is in a couple of weeks, it is the anatomy scan...we are planning on not finding out if it is a boy or girl! Im looking forward to the end surprise, but I must admit...it is getting harder and harder...I know I will be tempted to find out at my appointment, but I have to keep the end prize in mind...a wonderful surprise moment! Im secretly hoping that I will get a shot of the baby's "parts" haha...Im think I will have better luck with that if it is a boy...Speaking of boys....Is it bad to admit that I want a boy?! Don't get me wrong, I want the baby to be healthy blah blah blah, but Mark and I both want a boy. The weird thing is that my deep down gut feeling says it is a girl. It will take probably a little time to get used to the idea of a girl, but Im sure it wont be long. I know I will not be disappointed either way, Im just being honest! Well there is my little recap, nothing too exciting just some random pregnant thoughts!  Baby is the size of onion, but doing so many amazing things...I'm looking forward to the weeks ahead!

Book Review

A New York Times bestseller. Paris, July 1942: Sarah, a ten year-old girl, is brutally arrested with her family by the French police in the Vel’ d’Hiv’ roundup, but not before she locks her younger brother in a cupboard in the family's apartment, thinking that she will be back within a few hours.Paris, May 2002: On Vel’ d’Hiv’s 60th anniversary, journalist Julia Jarmond is asked to write an article about this black day in France's past. Through her contemporary investigation, she stumbles onto a trail of long-hidden family secrets that connect her to Sarah. Julia finds herself compelled to retrace the girl's ordeal, from that terrible term in the Vel d'Hiv', to the camps, and beyond. As she probes into Sarah's past, she begins to question her own place in France, and to reevaluate her marriage and her life. Tatiana de Rosnay offers us a brilliantly subtle, compelling portrait of France under occupation and reveals the taboos and silence that surround this painful episode.

I read this boon in about a week...It was very well  written and kept my attention. It is sad, I will worn you, not many happy thoughts but a good reminder of the Holocaust. I was unware of what happened in France during this time, so it was interesting to read a bit of history. I would recommended this book! Maybe something with a little more cheer next time!

First Trimester Recap

Since I was in no mood to journal during my first trimester I decided to write a mini recap so at least I will have something to look back on (does this make me a bad mother already?!)

January 9...First positive pregnancy test...5:30 am before I went to work. I have no idea what made me decide to take one, but I did and it was positive. I turned the light on at 5:30 and said "Welp, I am pregnant" Mark answered slightly annoyed " Really, let me see" He was not convinced it was a positive test ( It had lines not the digital) He claimed he had to see the word pregnant to believe it. So off to work I went, stopping by Kroger, buying 4 more pregnancy tests. I went to work and used two of them...The word pregnant popped up... (insert smiley face here!!) I text Mark a picture of the test and it wasn't until I got home that night did he actually start believing it, as I peed on every pregnancy test I could get my hands on. What a wonderful memory I have of this evening...We were thrilled.

January 11...Called my OBGYN....long story short I had an early loss in November so  I was slightly worried that maybe something else besides pregnancy. When I talked to my OB he informed it was possible I could be pregnant already and wanted me to come in and have my beta levels drawn to see what was going on. So in I went for blood work, told the lab at my work it was STAT and within an hour I got the results...289= pregnant. I wanted to scream. The real test is if the the beta levels double within 48 hrs, that means that things are progressing normally. My beta levels with my miscarriage were never over 100, anything less then 5 means you are not pregnant, but the doubling is what they look for..

January 15...Saturday, we were headed to Cincinnati for my nephew Evan's birthday party, I knew I had to get to the lab and get my results so I could rest assured (I am nuts, I know) So Mark took me early in the am and once again I put a STAT order on the results. A couple hours later I was staring a 723...more then doubled...we were headed in the right direction. I can't explain the relief I felt, knowing that it was a pregnancy and not something from my miscarriage....off to Cincy we went and decided to just tell my family...we wanted to tell face to face and we wanted everyone to be able to be happy with us. My family was such a support during the rough time in November, we just wanted to be happy. Our family was thrilled to say the least! The next step with the OBGYN was to come in an early ultra sound to confirm everything...

January 27...First appointment at 6 weeks...I was so anxious for this,  I was convinced something would be wrong....Mark wanted to shoot me I was so nervous. So we go in the appointment and I am shaking. He starts to do the ultra sound...confirms the pregnancy and says if I would hold still we should be able to see the heart beat...Mark had to hold my legs still...HOT I know...and there it was a tiny circle, with a fast flicker...our babies heart beating...one of the most amazing moments in our relationship.

January 27- February 28th: weeks 6 through 10...lots of sleeping, lots of anxiety, lots of nausea, a little vomiting, a lot of terrible tastes in my mouth, a lot of sleeping, a lot of just feeling like crap. My worst time was in the evening, about 5pm on, I was done..just wanted to go to bed..was nausea and had terrible metal mouth...blah! I survived, it could have been worse I know, but not fun at any point!

February 28th- 10 week appointment, first "official appointment". We got to hear the heartbeat at this appointment. At first he just wanted to Doppler me, but I demanded another ultra sound...I'm crazy I told you. So we got to see baby, how different it looked from 6 weeks, see and hear the heartbeat...overall an awesome appointment. I did not cry...which was so surprising to me, I just sat and looked...Mark was so excited! Got my blood work, everything checked out fine.

Feb 28 through March 15- weeks 10-12...pretty boring, lots of sleep, lots of night time bloating, lots of bad tastes in my mouth.

March 15- We opted to do the First Trimester screening for down syndrome and other birth defects...blood work and an ultra sound. I went by myself, thinking this would be no big deal, Mark wouldn't miss much. Boy was I wrong...this is when I officially fell in love. I was told to drink a little caffeine or sugar before going in to help make the baby move, after chugging 16 ounces of orange juice, baby was doing circles...sorry baby. It was moving around, staring right at us, heart beating..all I know is that is was amaazing. I can't explain it...this is when I first cried and thought "I love you" ...I wish Mark would have been there!!

That pretty much sums up the first trimester. It was a lot of doctor's appointments, a lot of anxiety and a lot of orange juice! I survived and now onto the 2nd trimester...which I have heard it fabulous!

15 Week Appointment

I had my 15 week appointment last Friday...everything went well. I met with another OBGYN in the practice and that was something different for me. I don't do well with change...haha. The biggest change is that she is a woman and my usual doctor is a male...such a difference! Females are so much more sensitive and willing to listen...it caught me off guard! Im used to my male in and out...answers my questions matter of fact and tells me to just fricken relax (pretty much sums it up!) It was a nice change of pace, but will be looking forward to my regular OB next time. Appointment was pretty boring, weight check, vitals, pee on your hand in a cup  and listen to the heartbeat...which is always exciting...except for the fact that 2 days prior my friend and I at work snuck down to triage and asked to borrow their doppler. We preceded to doppler each other...with not much success...had to call another nurse who knew what she was doing and then finally we found them...ahhh beautiful little heartbeats. Such a fun experience! Here is a little synopsis of week 15...sorry no pictures yet, we are just not into taking them, maybe this week!

How far along: 15
Total weight gain/loss: + 4lbs
Maternity clothes: umm no...at night time extremely bloated. Have worn them, but mainly just unbutton top button.
Stretch marks?: No...covering my body in Mamma Bee's oil lotion every night.
Sleep: Pretty good...could be worse!

Best moment this week: Triage heartbeat fiasco...haha!
Movement:  Not yet, swore I felt something about a week ago, but probably too early
Food cravings: Still orange juice and any kinda of fruit...heaven!
Gender: Still planning on not finding out. Im still convinced it is a girl.

What I miss: Wine (is that bad?) Being able to stay up late without being miserable, energy
Milestones: Nothing yet I think... Baby is the size of an orange!