The Franklin's

Leah- 4 Months ( A bit late)

2012-02-08T17:38:00.000-08:00

Age: Four Months
Weight: 14lbs
Length: 26.5 in
Size: 3 months and 3-6 months
Teeth: none poking through, but lots of drooling and gnawing
Hair: Still has lots...I swear the color changes daily- blond, brown, slightly red WHO KNOWS!
Sleeping: Is our downfall. She is so inconsistent. Earlier this month we worked on learning to self soothe and cry it out a bit. The first days were rough because she cried for a long time, but it got better and she was sleeping longer stretches. But slowly she has creeped back into waking up every 2-3 hours at night. She goes to bed fine, but it was waking up and the ONLY thing that calms her is to nurse. We have let her cry it out in the middle of the night, but 2 hours later it is just easier to nurse her. Taking 3-4 45 min cat naps.
Eating: NURSING ALL THE TIME!
Movement: Very active still. Has mastered bringing toys to her mouth this month, so now everything goes into her mouth. Holding her own binki, developing some of those fine motor skills. Legs are getting stronger. Still rolling from belly to back
Milestones: Talking, bringing things to her mouth
Favorite Toys: Books..loves books! Likes this "baby paper" that makes noise. Finally sitting in bouncy seat.
Dislikes: Getting a tiny bit better in car...still fussy. Doesn't like being put down or interrupted eating sessions
Words/sounds: Lots of coos and talking. Carries on a "conversation" with you!

Her new face with her new sound

SuperBowl!!

2012-02-06T06:57:00.000-08:00

Superbowl week is over!! Indy did such a great job hosting! Mark and I got to head back downtown on Saturday with our friends! It was awesome...This momma had one to many adult beverages (total lightweight these days) and enjoyed laughs with some great friends. We were home by 11 and Leah was up all night :) Oh the joys of parenthood. Sunday we vegged all day, Leah got dressed up for the game in these adorable football legwarmers. Love them! It was an awesome game and very happy the Giants one. So football is over for now, already looking forward to next season!

Look at those cheeks!

One Little Word

2012-02-03T05:57:00.000-08:00

So one of my New Year's Resolutions/Goals whatever you want to call then was to not actually pick a goal but pick a word I wanted to focus on all year. This project called "One Little Word" is a sort of a "class" that offers prompts at the beginning of the month that you can use to focus on your word and ways to cultivate it in your own life. You take pictures, write journal entries, anything that speaks to you about your word, you collect and place in a binder. I thought this was such a cool idea as this is right up my alley, easy enough and simple. January's prompt was just picking your word, defining it, and thinking about what you wanted your word to bring to you. At first I wanted to pick the word discipline...I need a little bit of in my life when it comes to healthy habits, cleaning, work, money etc etc...but the more I pondered the more I realized that one of my downfalls is speaking harshly to myself. My internal dialogue tends to be condescending and judgemental even though it is not that way towards others. I felt "discipline" was encouraging that harsh tone. So I thought of other words that could mean the similar things, but was of a softer tone. I stumbled upon the word NURTURE and it felt perfect. It is gently, encouraging and I feel like I accomplish some of the same things I want to in a softer more gentle tone. So my word for 2010 is Nurture. I love it. It has been popping up all over the place all of a sudden. January was spent thing of different areas of my life that I would like to nurture and planning on focusing on one of these each month. My ultimate goal is to nurture myself, be kinder to myself in hopes to be kinder to others. My new role as a mom is the definition of nurture. I love this new role. But I am trying to learn that I have other needs and my husband has other needs that need to nurtured. Letting myself be "okay" with nurturing my other needs does not make me a bad mother, but it is hard to believe and live this sometimes. So there are a few areas of focus for me. I will be sharing along my journey. Here is the first page of my "journal" The definition of nurture, synonyms, what I want to "invite" and a few pictures of what comes to my mind with the word nurture.

Super Bowl Festivities

2012-02-02T05:46:00.000-08:00

Indy is hosting the superbowl and it has been CRAZY around here! We had the chance to go down Saturday afternoon/evening to join in the festivities. We bundled up Leah, walked around and enjoyed an adult beverage. We left by 7:30, boy how times have changed. None the less it was fun!

A quick video of downtown!

Breakfast of Champions...For Real!

2012-02-01T10:58:00.000-08:00

Soo in addition to my "green machine" smoothie I have also recently become fond of steel cut oats in the morning. They are SO YUMMY! In my opinion they are better then the regular as they have a grainy, crunchy, hearty taste and flavor! The only draw back is they take awhile to cook, BUT I have also found a way around that as well...From THIS post...go ahead and give them a try! I have been adding vanilla almond milk and blueberries, bananas, and raisins...soo yummy! I also plan on using these when I start Leah on some solid food..instead of generic rice cereal, I plan to grind the oats up super fine and mix with my milk...delicious and nutritious! Perfect!

Organized...I Think Not

2012-01-31T18:22:00.000-08:00

It's official...I am the MOST unorganized person ever! This might surprise some people BUT I have random clutter everywhere. I go in phases where I am very organized, but most of the time I am not. I am a paper hoarder, "I'll just put this here for now" person and then 2 weeks later I have stumble upon it covered by something else, and Ill buy all this organizational stuff to get me organized, but it collects dust. I am frustrated at myself! I was looking for my checkbook for an entire 2 days, I hardly ever use it, is my excuse, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Of course Marks are all lined up neatly and easily accessible. FINALLy I remember where it is...in one of my travel bags, under my bed...you know the perfect place for your checkbook. I don't know what is more pathetic, the fact it was under my bed, or the fact that I REMEMBERED it was under my bed. I know it is hard to change habits, but I have GOT to do something about this lack of organizational skills...time to go make an organized list of all the organizational tasks I need to complete. :) I'm sure I will complete it just as my sweet baby girl wakes up to begin her recent night owl party behaviors...AHH life!

Leah's Baptism

2012-01-27T09:52:00.000-08:00

Leah celebrated her first sacrament this past Sunday. It was a very special day for our family. It was extra special for me to be surrounded by our family as my sweet baby girl was welcomed into the Catholic Church. I felt overcome with joy and praise as I watched Leah be baptized. We chose Mary Beth (my sister) and Dave (Mark's brother) to be Leah's Godparents. We feel confident in their role in Leah's life of faith, love, encouragement and support. Leah wore the baptismal gown my Grandma Philly made for my dad, and all the other grand kids have worn. It was special to know that my dad was Baptised in that exact same outfit...hopefully Leah's babies will wear the same thing! We were surrounded by our immediate family and it was just a perfect day. Thanking God for the blessing of our little Leah.

The two loves of my life

Being Baptized

The Franklin Fam

The Bajorek Clan

Getting Dressed

Godparents, MB and Dave

Pretty girl in Dziadziu's Baptism Gown

Updates

2012-01-23T18:21:00.000-08:00

We have been busy here in the Franklin household! We had Leah's Baptism this past weekend, so we were busy with lots of family and friends. I will post pictures when I get them! School has picked up in full force this week. I was in class for 8+ hours on Thursday. I have a night class Thursday and it was the first night since Leah was born that I have not put her to bed...killed me. Maybe it is a good thing to start learning to let go of control a bit, but I just don't want too. I love every second of our bedtime rituals together. Hard to believe January is almost over, I have things I my "to do" list that I NEED to get too, but lack of sleeping through the night makes it tough. My blog is taking the back burner and I hate that, I love my blogging world. Time to get ready for work tomorrow... here are a few pics!

Good-Bye Fluff...

2012-01-17T05:57:00.000-08:00

School has started for the semester...I am taking 2 classes, 8 credit hours and to put it nicely it is time to say goodbye to the "fluff" classes I took in previous semesters. I am currently in Pathophysiology and independent research study and I am scared..haha! I was not very good at Patho in my undergrad, so this will be interesting. Our first week of assignments is a "review" of basically the whole year of undergrad patho...awesome! I have really had to hone in on my previous study skills, it amazing how easy those are to forget, and I am beginning to remember. I know what works for me and what doesn't and having to tend to a 4month old doesn't. So I have been waiting until she is in bed at night to do a majority of my studying, so 7:30-10:30. This week it has worked out well, who knows about next week. In all of this, I am EXCITED! I am excited to learn, to begin getting into the meat of the program and what I will need to know when I am practicing. I am up for the challenge and the days I am not, I play with Leah a little more! I have my actually first day of class this Thursday, that is always a little nerve wrecking, but it will be nice to meet the PNP students. Another tidbit is that my professor for patho is a nurse I work with...time to start sucking up :)

Thickest book ever!

Green Machine

2012-01-11T06:10:00.000-08:00

I found this Green Machine via Iowa Girl Eats and was a bit skeptical but willing to give it a try as I am always looking for ways to get more veggies in...this has 4 CUPS OF SPINACH in it...I couldn't taste it one bit...It was really good. I am going to look into ways to alter this and maybe decrease the caloric content a bit. But it was good and I will take the nutrition of the spinach.

Getting me through...

2012-01-10T17:18:00.000-08:00

Exhausted is an understatement...Leah is not sleeping well. She has had a cold for over a week now and I think she is starting to teeth and with that the nights are fragments of sleep placed together, waking up in the chair a few hours later, and early mornings. I'm dreaming of 5+ hours of sleep uninterrupted. I'm lost as a mom as to whether she is hungry, doesn't feel good or just wants to be with me...I am debating some cry it out methods, but it just seems cruel when she is so young...any thoughts or suggestions?

So here is what gets my through my exhaustion...this sweet, talkative, little girl...I am so in love!

New Year- New Goals?!

2012-01-09T17:09:00.000-08:00

I always love the new year, it feels good to be able to start over and fresh. I have made resolutions in the past, but only to break them. Last year I didn't set any specific goals for the year, but knew what I wanted to accomplish (start school, have a baby being the main ones :) and those were both accomplished. This year I have been exploring blogger land and found some motivating ideas for 2012.

The main one I have decided to participate in is called One Little Word It is an idea with the thought of not picking resolutions for the year, but pick a WORD that you want to adopt and explore for the year. Then the author Ali Edwards, sends you journal prompts, there are message boards to discuss your word with others and each month you create a "workbook" page on how your word spoke to you or what you want to work on that month with your word. I think I have decided on my word and will be revealing later after I finish my first month's "assignments" I am really looking forward to this.

I also saw THIS on creative organizing website and think this would help me declutter a little bit!

The final idea I want to work on is called Project Life it is a simplified scrapbook. You order the scrapbook and they send the book and coordinating paper and designs...the idea is simple, just get some photos together and get some memories collected. I'm hoping to do a page a month as well as ~~get started~~ continue working on Leah's baby book!

Be a Star

2012-01-07T06:32:00.000-08:00

One of the breastfeeding support groups I go to posted this...I cried. It is simple and beautiful. It reminded me what a wonderful thing I am doing by breastfeeding Leah. It made me feel good.

During my pregnancy the only thing I was set on the entire time was that of the decision to breastfeed. If everything else went wrong and I could still breastfeed it would be a success in my eyes. I was pretty open about my desires as well and people would ask me why I felt so strongly about it. First, the health benefits to your child are amazing. Here is some information on the benefits of breastfeeding it is astounding to me what a healthy choice for your baby and yourself breastfeeding is. Seeing the sickest babies every day I knew this was important for my baby.

I have always wanted to be a mom, growing up I have always said I want a lot of kids. When Mark and I were preparing to get married I told him that one of my main life callings is to be mom. Being a mom was something I have always pictured myself doing. And with those visions I had it was always breastfeeding my baby. I would always imagine rocking my infant, nursing and putting the baby to sleep. I felt this inner urge to have this bond with my baby. Now that I have successfully breastfed for 4 months (yea :)) I feel so proud and even feel more strongly about the powers of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is hard, I underestimated how challenging it would be- but it is so worth it. I feel so bonded with Leah- that I can provide her sole source of nutrition all the while being able to comfort, calm and make her feel secure. It only seems fitting that I would have a baby that LOVES to nurse- and this is Leah. She becomes the sweetest little thing during our nursing sessions and after. She smiles, becomes calm and looks around. No matter how hard the day is, when I stop to nurse her I always feel this overwhelming gush of love for her. I am so happy I am able to give her this gift, as well as myself. It has been the best decision for our family. My goal is to breastfeed Leah until she is one... here is to 8 more months of nursing!

The Holiday's

2012-01-06T17:48:00.000-08:00

Christmas happened so fast..it hit me out of no where. My thoughts pre-Christmas were preoccupied with my struggles of going back to work ( that is another post!) We spent the 23rd with Mark's family, had dinner and spent the night at his parents. We then traveled to Cincy on Christmas Eve to spend time with my family. We went to church, had our annual delicious polish food, and even got a special visit from Santa Claus that night. Christmas morning was fun with the boys...they were so excited to see their gifts from Santa...tooo much fun! Leah was in bed at 7:30 Christmas Eve and had no clue it was Christmas morning...but she was cute and giggly none the less. I didn't even get a picture of her with Santa....worst mom ever! Christmas night was low key...I think we were in bed at 9:00pm...pathetic, but we were exhausted from traveling and Leah's sleep habits have been in the toilets. So Merry First Christmas.... less then "perfect" but we will take it!

NYE we had a wedding of my best friend Kelli. It was in Columbus and it was a great time. I was the Matron of honor so it was a busy weekend attending to my duties to my friend and that of my daughter...Have I mentioned this kid thing is HARD! The wedding was a blast, it was fun to get all dressed up, dancing with friends and family and ringing in the new year with my dear hubby.

Leah and I came down with a cold, I had no voice at the wedding, and Leah has been less then fun this week. Poor baby is super snotty and I am thinking maybe she is starting to show some signs of teething. She has been waking every 1, 2, 3 hours give or take, not so much hungry but just fussy...it has been exhausting but my little baby is so sweet and somehow I can't get enough of her.

I start school next week...I am nervous...my load will be a bit heavier, no more fluff. My books are arriving and my Pathophysiology book is the largest book I have ever seen...So we will see how it goes...

Time for some sleep...

Drew and Leah (8 weeks apart)

Update and a continued break...

2012-01-03T18:15:00.000-08:00

It has been a crazy couple of weeks with the holiday's and what not...so much traveling, family time, and trying to manage Leah'sfirst cold. I cant wait to have time to post about Christmas, our NYE wedding, work update, school update and Leah update. But for now I have no computer (using Mark's IPDAD) because I left mine in Columbus and it is currently in the mail and my baby is screaming her head off which seems to be her new theme as of late. Will it ever settle down?!?! I feel like I am sinking right now, but realize this is a normal part of having a baby, let alone a baby who is deemed "colic" and a mom who hasn't slept for a long period of time in 16 weeks, especially the laat 2 weeks and who is also suffering a terrible head cold...man I am feeling sorry for myself! ok time to go quiet my sweet baby and be thankful I have her to hold...hang tight....updates coming (I know you are dying!)

Each Day's Surprise

2011-12-19T03:46:00.000-08:00

" Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel when it comes to us. Let's not be afraid to receive each day's surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy. It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate

more fully our shared humanity."

~ Henri Nouwen~

It's about a week from Christmas and I barely have anything checked off my "Christmas to do list" I have a whole list of "get myself in the Christmas spirit" ideas and haven't done any of them. But oddly enough I feel more in the Christmas spirit then ever- the true Christmas spirit. I'm letting go of the "ideal" Christmas I wanted to create this year because honestly life is just too dang challenging right now. My thoughts and attention need to be on more important things then the 500 pinterest crafts I wanted to attempt. Life has presented Mark and I with some difficult roadblocks in the past weeks or months. Adjusting to our "new life" has left me feeling stumbling through many days the past few weeks. I started back at work last week and to be honest I am miserable about it. We have a lot kinks to work out if this is going to work. Mark's job is INSANE...when I say insane I mean getting called at 2:30 in the morning for surgery cases, not getting home until 3:30 am last night after leaving the house at 7 am, and up and out the door before Leah is even awake. His job is hard for all of us, I can't imagine how draining it is on him, plus dealing with my strong emotions the past 2 weeks. It is not the 9-5 everyday job and that presents it's own challenges with me being back at work and working a "part time" schedule like we agreed before Leah was born. I am struggling with the new addition to my identity as Leah's mom-because I feel like I want that to be my only identity- whether that is wrong or right I don't know. Finding a balance is hard when you are not sure what you are balancing...SOO this is turning into a depressing post, I don't mean it too, just putting my thoughts down. What I do know is that I am excited for the upcoming days with family. I am praying for guidance and peace for my family... I feel joy to think about spending time with Leah on her first Christmas, seeing my nieces and nephews who bring me so much joy and reconnecting with Mark. Like the quote says, finding and accepting the surprises of everyday life, being thankful for the "good" problems we have and remembering so many people have it way worse then I can even imagine. Ok time to at least go decorate the tree!

PS. And to cheer your up after this serious post check out this POST in regards to my sister-in-laws blog about her weeks top 10 with my twin nieces...if that doesn't make you crack up there is something wrong with you!

Leah - 3 Months

2011-12-13T10:45:00.000-08:00

Age: Three Months
Weight: 11lbs 10oz
Length: ?
Size: Still in 0-3 months and 3 months
Teeth: N/A
Hair: Still has lots...I swear the color changes daily- blond, brown, slightly red WHO KNOWS!
Sleeping: For the most part we are doing well. Has kind of put herself into a routine. Is really ready for bed now around 7:30 and has been sleeping until 3:30-5:00 depending on the night. Gets up to nurse and goes right back to sleep.
Eating: Still nursing well...she is a little oinker. Eats every 2-3 hours as well.
Movement: She is an active little thing! Always sucking on her hands. Always moving arms and legs, doesn't like to be sitting still. Her head is getting very strong. Loves being on her belly.
Milestones: Talking up a storm...ROLLS OVER FROM BELLY TO BACK!! Mommy's first day back to work...all day with Daddy
Favorite Toys: Likes this bear play mat we were given. It is super soft, she loves laying on it and looking at the ceiling fan. Have a play mat with animals will try and reach for and then kick legs. Likes looking at books. Allowing us to sit her in bouncy seat every once in awhile!
Dislikes: Anything involved with her car seat, swing, not being held...this has not changed. She is MISERABLE in the car.
Words/sounds: Lots of coos and talking. Carries on a "conversation" with you!

Survived...

2011-12-12T15:36:00.000-08:00

I survived my first 12 hour shift back at work yesterday....I am re-reading that sentence over and over again because I am so proud of myself. It may sound corny, but it was one of if not the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Leaving your baby for 12 hours is not easy...leaving your NURSING baby for 12 hours is even harder. I will admit, the anticipation was actually worse then the working. The hardest part was getting myself out the door...I sat on the edge of my bed and cried completely doubting my ability to be gone from Leah. As I clocked in, I almost just turned back around and left. I saw one of my friends first thing, she hugged me, I cried. All the wonderful RN's I work with came up and hugged me, welcomed me back and almost all of them have been in my shoes at some point. It felt good to be understood, to not feel completely stupid for crying. The only reason I made it through were these wonderful ladies...I feel a renewed appreciation for this fabulous group of women. The only other reason I made it was because Leah was with her Daddy, and her Daddy did an AMAZING job. We were all nervous, me having done a majority of the caring for Leah the past 12 weeks. BUT Mark did it...and he did it well. I walked in the door to a peaceful baby, just getting out of the bath, ready for her mom to nurse her to sleep...I picked her up and sobbed some more (can I still blame it on the hormones?!) I held her extra tight last night, wanted her to wake up in the middle of the night so I could be with her (last time I wish for that) and felt so thankful for her. I have already taken for granted my healthy baby...but a very quick reminder yesterday of the blessing of a healthy baby. Thank you God for all of your blessings and thank you for giving me people to help me have the strength to get through the day. It feels good to have it under my belt...time to adjust to the next phase of our lives...

Exhausted...

2011-12-08T17:02:00.000-08:00

It has been a long couple of days...Mark's grandpa passed away this past Sunday so we have been "busy" with family time, viewing and the funeral today. Emotions are a good thing, but can be exhausting. Seeing grown men cry is not my kind of party and gets me every time. Mark's grandpa was a wonderful man, he was ornery, funny, and always had a smile on his face. I only knew him a few years, but knew how much he loved watching Mark play football, knew how much he loved his wife and knew how much he loved Mark's Dad, Larry. The most moving part of the funeral was the 21 gun salute done to honor Grandpa Joe as a WWII veteran. They folded up the American flag and got down on one knee before Grandma Wilma and sincerely thanking her for Joe's service...it was humbling, moving, emotional. His death comes at a time where it is easy to get caught up in life passing by in the Holiday season, today was a reminder to slow down, take in life's daily moments, and make time for family and friends. I have been feeling overwhelmed with school, going back to work, caring for Leah that I have been retreating in my mind, secluding myself which I am very good at. I'm reminded to stop feeling sorry for myself, take some deep breaths and try to enjoy every minute of this life...

Fun Stuff...

2011-12-03T19:09:00.000-08:00

Here are a few things I have stumbled upon this past week while I have been putting off writing my paper.

These cool December Desktop Backgrounds
Here is the one I chose...

A free canvas

Have you heard of Birchbox ?
Once a month you get 4 or 5 high end samples delievered to your door for $10...nice!

I really want one of these...her website has so many cute things!

And this sweet face...

Weekend Plans

2011-12-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to be a my dear cousin Amanda's wedding this weekend...Leah has had other plans. Her continued expression of hatred for her carseat and anything to do with travel has forced me to give up my physical capability of being present at the wedding...I'm sad...really sad...so in my feel sorry for myself attitude this weekend I still need to get some things done.

Friday
Work on paper
Continue Christmas Decorating
Put away laundry

Saturday
Get Christmas Tree
Purdue Christmas Show
Work on paper (long shot)

Sunday
Church/Baptism prep class
tidy house
organize multiple things (post to follow)
Finish paper

I think I can...I think I can...

2011-12-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

Feeling like the little engine that could right now as I am trying to wrap up the final weeks of my master's class. It has not really been too demanding, but I am ready for Christmas break :) Our final paper is due next Tuesday, it supposed to be between 15-20 pages, I currently have 6. I have a lot of information to sort through still and get my thoughts collected. I have a plan, I am just moving through it SLOWLY! I write a paragraph, go back and re-read and realize I have no idea what I am trying to say. Thank goodness for a thesaurus that helps me sound semi-smart. All I really want to do is cozy up with Leah, and finish decorating and shopping for Christmas. So back to work...I think I can....I think I can...I really need to be saying...get your s*%t together and GET IT DONE! :)

All the Grandkids...

2011-12-01T06:43:00.000-08:00

This past weekend all 6 grandkids had the pleasure of being together...let me tell you it was fun, chaotic, stressful, busy, and hilarious all rolled into one. 6 kids under 4 can be nothing but fun! We were in Cleveland for a wedding, which also meant we were able to go visit my Grandma (Grammy) and bring all 6 of her great-grandchildren. My grandma, Philly has Alzheimer's and is very limited in her abilities. It is truly one of the saddest things I have ever seen. Not sure if she knew we were there this time but we surrounded her with love and I choose to think she felt that. This is Alex, Evan, Drew, Lilly, Diana and Leah. Plus my brother Tim, wife Shonda, Matt, wife Lauren. Enjoy the cuteness!

Thanksgiving Recap

2011-11-28T18:34:00.000-08:00

What a Thanksgiving Holiday...I just got back home tonight and feel like I got hit by a truck. BUT it was a fun Holiday weekend. Thursday afternoon we spent with Mark's family and had a wonderful meal. I left Thursday afternoon to head to Columbus with Leah, as we had a family wedding this weekend. Little did I know it was about to be the worst 3 hours of my life...Leah cried for 2hrs and 45 minutes...She HATES the car I guess. She pooped all over her car seat and then continued to cry so hard that she made herself throw up all over the backseat. I pulled over at a closed Tim Horten's and had no clue what to do because there was poop EVERYWHERE and Leah was in a frenzy...so I started crying too haha! We made it to Columbus safely, but it was a LONG three hours. The next day we headed to Cleveland, OH for the wedding festivities...I sat in the back seat with Leah and she just smiled and talked to me the whole way...so maybe she just wants someone back there with her... Can we say SPOILED?!?! Because she was angel on the way back to Columbus Sunday,...and then on my trip today back to Indy she was ok, but still probably cried for a total of 45 minutes and I had to stop... But we survived the first travel weekend and without Mark, I have to say I am proud of us. It was not easy and I never want to do it without Mark again, but at least I know I can do it. The wedding was fun, Leah was good and I had a great time catching up with friends. We had a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving...I will be hibernating at home the rest of this week as my first day back to work is next Wednesday (vomit)...soaking up every minute with my sweet sweet girl!

Leah's Turkey Handprint

Turkey iron-on for Thanksgiving Day

My Girl

Lila and Leah on Thanksgiving...Leah is already fascinated with her!

Leah's Name...

2011-11-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

Since we didn't know what we were having before Leah was born our nursery was very gender neutral...lots of yellow and green. So to add a little "girl" to the room I found plain white letters at Michael's, picked out some purple themed scrapbook paper, and with my trusty old Modge Podge...I created a decorated version of Leah's name. I really like how it turned out. Now I just have to figure out where to put it!

Speaking of Leah's name...one might be wondering how we chose Leah. All throughout my pregnancy if it was a girl her name would be "Norah". I LOVE that name, always have. It was one of the few that we agreed on. Towards the end of the pregnancy I started thinking about other names...We couldn't agree on anything else. As soon as she was born I knew she not a Norah. I was almost disgusted with the thought of naming her that. The first name that came to my head when I saw her was Leah. I always used to make fun of people who said they had to wait to name their babies, but I get it now! After discussing with Mark I told him he could name her since she was born on his birthday. He looked at me and said "Emily" and I was like ummm " I really like Leah" -so much for letting him choose! So that was it...our little Leah was named. I must say her name is absolutely PERFECT...she is most definitely a LEAH!

One year ago...

2011-11-19T16:24:00.000-08:00

Today is one year since I suffered a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. It was supposed to be a happy day, my dear primary at work was heading home to be with his mom, dad, brother and sister. It was around 8am and the family was already there..anxious to go! I ran to the bathroom real quick and my heart sank. I was bleeding. Sparing you the details I had to leave work, go to the doctors where it was confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. Mark was out of town for work. I was all alone...devastated. I called Mark, he drove home. I called my mom, she left work and came to Indy. That was the start of the hardest week of my life... A lot has changed in a year...especially the blessing of our sweet baby girl Leah. I am cherishing every ounce of her today while thinking about the baby we lost...I hope I never have to experience that again. Giving thanks for my bundle of joy! I saved the 3 pregnancy tests I took with baby 1...I couldn't bear to get rid of them. (I saved Leah's too!) It's comforting to still have these...Praying for my baby today and all angel babies.

Weekend To Do...

2011-11-18T18:17:00.000-08:00

Leah is 9 weeks today...holy cow! Time flies! I have been soaking up every minute with this sweet little girl and I plan on doing that this weekend...hopefully I can get a few other things done as well. Mark has been gone this week on business...so happy comes home this weekend!

Saturday
Finish homework assignment for next week
Fold Laundry
Thanksgiving project
Prep cinnamon rolls

Sunday
Organize Thanksgiving week (travels, gifts, and wedding prep for next weekend)
Clean bathrooms
Family time!

November- National Prematurity Awareness Month

2011-11-17T15:57:00.000-08:00

Tips for a Healthy Pregnancy
November is national prematurity awareness month. As many of you know this touches extremely close to home for me as I am NICU RN. When I was in nursing school I had always dreamed of working on the newborn ICU and when I shadowed there I knew I had found my "home". In all of my "dreams" I never realized how challenging and how rewarding the job would be. Naively I thought I would be holding babies all day. And yes on the quiet days at work a lot of baby holding, feeding and rocking goes on. But a majority of the days are BUSY, the last thing on my mind is holding the baby as we are busy with IV's, blood draws, procedures, vitals, assessments, feedings, more assessments, letting parents hold, truly trying to make the baby feel better. The atmosphere is quiet (minus all the beeping), the babies are SICK, some so close to death I feel extremely inadequate to be taking care of them. How could God entrust this tiny vulnerable creature to me in my job? I will admit it is scary, sometimes I don't feel worthy and so scared I am doing something wrong. This is a person's CHILD...I often have to remind myself to trust in my knowledge, my co-workers and doctors. I have also learned to trust (most) parents...they know their child better then I do. My number one goal on any given day is to make the baby the most comfortable I can and make the parents feel the same. I want the parents to trust me, trust I truly care about their baby, and I want to do everything in my power to make them feel competent in caring for their baby and try to relieve as much stress as possible. It is hard job. I have held a baby and fed them a bottle in the morning and then turned around performed CPR on them later in the shift...these "preemies" are delicate, vulnerable, but yet oh so strong. I feel defeated a lot...I feel helpless a lot...some weeks I feel depressed about the job...BUT the good days renew your spirit every time. Feeling you helped a baby and a family is truly one of the best feelings in my life. I have had the privilege of taking care of so many special babies and families...see them be born and see them go home with their families...that is truly a miracle. Thank God for your healthy babies and thank God for the preemies who are resilient and strong. Please continue to pray for us all!

A tiny list of the "miracle babies" I have taken care of
- A 28 week baby girl, my first primary, 4 years old now!
- A 26 week boy, did his delivery and took care of him everyday I worked until he went home. Here is Andrew's Story
- A set of quadruplets who were amazingly healthy
- A set of twin boys 30weeks...Lots of feeding issues, got in many ~~arguments~~ discussions with physicians. Learned how to be better patient advocate.

- A set of triplets whose parents got to take these 3 beautiful girls went home with them. These babies and parents really helped me during a challenging time when I was feeling burned out. Check their story out HERE

- A set of triplets ( I have multiple fever!) born at 30 weeks...I ended up primary on the sickest of the 3...He was on death's doorstep multiple times. I remember praying so hard for him, feeling helpless for him, feeling helpless for the parents...BUT my little man turned it around and I became so attached to him. I felt heavy loss when he went home, but also an extreme amount of happiness. Those parents saved me as much as I tried to save their son. Some of my closest friends to this day.

-A 30 week boy who was so sick and we never learned why...we called the parents in and told them this was it...He went home eating, breathing on his own, and is so chubby now! MIRACLE!

-30 week twin boys who were so stinking cute...I loved loving on them all day!!!

Here are all my "favorites" The best part about all of these stories is that I still remain in touch with all of these families. I get to enjoy watching these babies grow up and get stronger and stronger. Talk about rewarding.

Here is another post from my friend Kathy, who is Andrew's mom about how to support families while their babies are in the NICU. How to Help!

FYI- I was granted permission for all the pictures I used by the parents( Don't worry no HIPPA violations!)

Leah- Two Months

2011-11-16T13:17:00.000-08:00

Age: Two Months
Weight: 10lbs 8oz
Length: 23.5 in
Size: We have switched to 0-3 months, occasional NB onesie.
Teeth: N/A
Hair: Still has lots...I swear the color changes daily- blond, brown, slightly red WHO KNOWS!
Sleeping: Pretty much still hit or miss. Sleeping better at night, usually goes down around 10:30-11 and sleep until 4:00 or 5:00...I will take it! Takes a nice long nap in the am and cat naps the rest of the day.
Eating: Still nursing well...she is a little oinker. Eats every 2-3 hours as well.
Movement: She is an active little thing! Always moving arms and legs, doesn't like to be sitting still. Her head is getting very strong. Loves being on her belly.
Milestones: She is smiling and cooing. Looking all around at things.
Favorite Toys: Likes this bear play mat we were given. It is super soft, she loves laying on it and looking at the ceiling fan. Have a play mat with animals will try and reach for and then kick legs. Likes looking at books.
Dislikes: Anything involved with her car seat, bouncy, swing, not being held...this has not changed. She is MISERABLE in the car.
Words/sounds: Lots of coos and trying to talk!

Recap

2011-11-15T05:45:00.000-08:00

Ok so I might have been a little over ambitious for what I wanted to accomplish this weekend...it is so unpredictable know with a baby...especially a baby who decides some days she wants to cry A LOT or be held ALL THE TIME! That mean Sunday was pretty much chalked up to baby holding, I know terrible life right?! But we survived.

I took Leah to the Ball State Women's B-Ball game Friday night. I'm not going to lie, it was a lot to manage by myself especially for a baby who HATES the car (seriously who hates the car?) When we got to Muncie she had spit up everywhere and blew out a diaper...awesome! But she was an angel during the game, loved looking at all the bright lights and barely made a peep! Of course on the way she cried the whole time and was miserable. I was glad I took her, but I was very anxious about having her out and getting places in time to avoid meltdowns. It was great seeing old teammates, old coaches and old fans. The good old people of Muncie never forget who you are and make you feel very special!

I did manage to make it to the breastfeeding group Friday morning, but sadly I did not have time to prep my cinnamon rolls, maybe this weekend.

Saturday we visited with our friends Scott, Jess, Belle, Trey and Sloan. We go way back with these fabulous people and they had not met Leah yet. I babysat Belle when she was 3 months old for a whole summer. Trey is my Godson and Sloan LOVED baby Leah. All of them hold such a special place in my heart....really no words! I got nothing else done Saturday... whoops!

Sunday I got a little bit of homework started, but that is about it. Leah needed to be held and nursed ALL day....sooo I need to focus on my homework and getting re organized again...here's to hoping!

Weekend Planning

2011-11-11T05:29:00.000-08:00

I would really like to get some things accomplished this weekend...soooo I am making a tiny "to do" list in hopes Leah will behave herself for a few hours and I will be able to check a few things off...

Friday:
Breastfeeding Support Group
Babies R Us return
Prep cinnamon rolls
Work on "get back into shape" plan
Ball State Women's B-Ball Game

Saturday:
2 loads of laundry
Visit with friends
Begin homework for the week

Sunday:
Meal Plan
Continue working on homework
Sort through Leah's Clothes
Start Planning Christmas Shopping

Garlic Roll Ups

2011-11-11T05:13:00.000-08:00

I made Garlic Roll Ups last night to go with our pasta dinner. They were yummy! To show you what a novice cooker I am I did not know they sold frozen bread dough at the grocery store. It makes sense they would but I had never put it together. So I bought a bag and extremely excited to try some new recipes with it. The bread was good, better then any Grands biscuit if I must say so myself. I got the recipe from one of my favorite blogs Clover Lane I love this woman's philosophy on just about everything! Check her out if you have time.

Mini Baked Apple Pies...

2011-11-09T17:52:00.000-08:00

I made these last night...boy were the yummy! Also super easy and I had all the ingredients on hand! These are a must try...perfect for a small portion or for little kids!

November 7th Gratitude...

2011-11-08T09:54:00.000-08:00

I was thankful for my hubby Mark today....He provided so much support to me even though it was over the phone mostly because he was working a busy day. Leah was extremely fussy today and I was becoming worn out with her crying and my inability to soothe her. I just kept calling Mark, he answered every time and just offered words of encouragement. It was so nice to hear supportive words instead of advice or "have you tried this?" talk. He knew just what I needed. Later that night we had dinner at his parents and he was extremely attentive to my needs...I was so thankful for this as I was tired, hungry, probably dehydrated and anxious. He made sure I ate until my heart was content, my water was full and gave me lots of hugs and kisses. He probably didn't think anything of it, but it meant a lot to me. I am not going to lie, the past 7 weeks haven been challenging on our relationship. I would like to think this is normal for any couple who have just had their first child. There have been arguments, short tempers, lack of QT time, exhaustion, complaints and just adjusting to life that is no longer just about the two of you. I have not put as much energy into our relationship because it has been directed towards Leah, but it is so important to save some energy for your spouse. I am not talking big things here...I am trying to be more patient, use kinder words, hugs, kisses, and offering an ear during pillow talk instead of just falling asleep...these things are working to get us comfortable with our new "normal" I just wanted him to know how thankful I am for him.

Aren't they ADORABLE!

Operation Clean House

2011-11-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

Confession: My house is a disaster. I know I know, I have a newborn who cares if the house is messy, BUT I am officially grossed out, don't want to walk around barefoot, and can see the dog hair piling up. There is clutter everywhere, papers, random baby things, stinky fridge, laundry backup and the list goes on and on. The past week has been busy sitting and nursing my growing baby. I think Leah had her first major growth spurt...I was nursing every hour to two...with an occasionally 4 hour stretch in there, BUT she seemed extra clingy as I could not put her down to nap. So I was prisoner to my extra large puffy recliner (smartest purchase yet!) and my 7 week old baby. I was getting frustrated because I just wanted to get up and be able to do what " I needed to do" but had to gently remind myself what I REALLY needed to do was be with my baby and give her what SHE needed. She slept 5 hours last night, so hopefully we are getting back on track. So onto my house...between nursing and nap times I have a whole long list of what I would like to get done this weekend...

- The kitchen needs a major scrub down, refrigerator needs cleaned out
- The floors need swept, mopped x 5 (my love hate relationship)
- Upstairs needs vacuumed
- The clutter especially the mail/papers/bills/cards needs sorted through
- A few loads of laundry

I'm trying to keep the list short as I need to be realistic with my time, as this could all be down the toilet if Leah decides she needs to be held all weekend.

So today I am thankful I have beautiful home to clean :)

Off to work...

November Gratitude

2011-11-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

November?! What the heck!!! All I can think about is that I only have 5 weeks left of maternity and it honestly makes me sick to my stomach...I really can't even go there! Soooo Im trying to approach November from a different angle...Feeling thankful for all I have. And since Thanksgiving is this month I will be giving thanks all month. Each day I want to focus on something to be thankful for...whether it be big or small...whatever strikes me that day and makes me feel truly thankful. Yesterday, November 1 was such a beautiful fall day and I was so thankful I was able to enjoy the sunshine. I will be posting my list in the sidebar and blogging about them as the mood strikes. What are you thankful for?

Happy Halloween

2011-11-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Leah's first Halloween with Marks parents and Dave, Heather and Lila. We enjoyed the trick or treaters and a very in depth discussion on everyone's favorite candy bar and what actually classifies a candy bar. Mark was mad at everyones choices and then claimed his favorite candy bar was a nutty bar...we all instantly claimed a nutty bar is not a candy bar but a snack cake... Mark did not agree. As you can tell we all were very into this conversation! HAHA!

Leah was a ballerina/princess...a homemade costume since everything was too big for her. Lila was the cutest bumble bee I have ever seen! And Dave (Marks brother) was a pirate/hippie. A good time was had by all!

One happy baby!

Baby Lila Bumble Bee! :)

This is HOT!!!

I think this is the first picture I have with Leah

Sunday Morning....

2011-10-30T06:28:00.000-07:00

A glimpse into my Sunday morning....

- 6 hours of straight sleep given to me from Leah
- Pumpkin Coffee from Dunkin Donuts
- Leah and Mark taking a nap together
- a long hot shower for me
- Cool fall morning
- A much needed Church visit
- Meal planning

Ahh kind of my perfect morning! Here's to hoping the rest of the day is just as perfect...(wishful thinking as schoolwork is looming over my head)

I want to make Carmel Apple Cider for when we carve our pumpkins tonight..looks yummy!

And if that doesn't make you feel all warm inside..this will...

and if that didn't then you have no heart... :)

Cousin Time...

2011-10-25T08:10:00.000-07:00

Leah got to spend some QT with her cousins Alex, Evan and Drew this weekend. The boys were great with her! Evan walked up to me and said " She is bootyful(beautiful)!" Melted my heart! Then Alex said " She has a small head!" I don't know what it is about these boys but I just love them so much! I kept thinking about all the time I got to spend with them before Leah was born...how lucky I am to have such a fun relationship with my nephews! Enjoy the videos!

Leah- One Month

2011-10-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

Age: One Month
Weight: 8lbs 9oz.
Length: 21 in
Size: Mainly newborn, starting to get tight
Teeth: N/A Hair: Still rocking all of her hair from birth. I don't feel like she has lost any! It gets very greasy and needs to be washed a lot.
Sleeping: Pretty much still hit or miss. Will sleep 3 hours usually during the day, occasional 4 hour stretch. Our longest night stretch has been 5 hours...only once :(
Eating: Still nursing well...she is a little oinker. Eats every 3 hours as well.
Movement: She is an active little thing! Always moving arms and legs, doesn't like to be sitting still. Head is getting stronger every day.
Milestones: First smile!!!
Favorite Toys: Likes this bear play mat we were given. It is super soft, she loves laying on it and looking at the ceiling fan.
Dislikes: Anything involved with her car seat, bouncy, swing, not being held
Words/sounds: She snorts...we think she sounds like a little goat!

One Month for Mommy

2011-10-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

I am working on Leah's one month post...just too lazy to upload pictures right now! So I am going to take a little time for myself. Life has changed so much in the past month, it is just crazy. My world has been rocked in every way. It's amazing how all of a sudden you have these motherly instincts, an ability to survive on little sleep, and so much love for your little baby. I just want Leah to be happy all the time and am doing everything in my power to make that happen...which is leading me to my other new discovery of motherhood...anxiety! OK we all know I was anxious person before having Leah, but whoa has it been TURNED ON. Some days my anxiety is getting the best of me...I am so worried something is wrong with Leah. I don't think my NICU background is helping in any of this either. I swear the pediatrician thought I was nut as i whipped out my notebook with an entire page of questions at her one month appointment and asked him things about nasal passages, rectums, and eye movement. (Insert crazy comment here) Every time she sneezes, spits up, has a booger, doesn't poop, has bad smelling gas...I feel this little panic inside, like I am missing something wrong with her. She is extremely gassy and fussy (mainly at night) so I am worried that maybe something in my diet (like dairy) is causing her gas issues. The pediatrician doesn't seem to think so, but I hate to see her miserable with gas. Then to throw breastfeeding into the mix...ahh the stress. No one told me how hard breastfeeding would be. Maybe it isn't hard for others, but it is a lot of work! SO yes, I have a lot of worries and anxieties and you probably all are thinking I need some serious help, but I am told this is normal. I am working on trying to relax, having faith that she is okay and letting myself have a good cry every once in awhile. I'm working on embracing the moment, soaking in every moment of our days together realizing I will have to go back to work and she will grow up before I know it. Even though my little Leah is causing all this worry, she is also causing much happiness and lots of smiles.

It's also time for me to start thinking about taking care of myself physically again...I say thinking because I realize how out of shape my body is and I am dreading feeling miserable for a few weeks. BUT I need to start somewhere. So I am working on my workout plan :) And also maybe cutting back on the amount of treats I have been allowing myself :)

So there is my one month check in---I know it will only get better from here! Thanks for letting me vent and be honest!

Caught...

2011-10-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

Leah just started smiling at us this week...I caught it on video today. Too cute to not share! Have I mentioned I love this little girl?!?!

A Fun Visit

2011-10-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

This past weekend my sister Mary Beth and brother in law Brian came for a visit. They live in NJ and work for the secret service so they were unable to come for Leah's Birthday. We were not supposed to see each other until Thanksgiving, but I convinced Mary Beth she HAD to come see Leah while she is still this little peanut! So they made the trip and it was wonderful. Nothing like having your sister share in a special time in your life. They instantly fell in love with her and she got held all weekend (which is no different then any other day!) We had some good QT and took a trip the pumpkin patch to get Leah's first pumpkin. It was fun...Mark and I fought on the way there, Leah screamed half the trip, she had a blow out and needed a new outift BUT dangit we all got pumpkins! We also got to ask Mary Beth to Leah's Godmother in person which was extra special for me!

New Recipes

2011-10-06T07:38:00.000-07:00

Since I have been breastfeeding all I have been doing is eating! I am always hungry and rarely satisfied! I am giving myself another week of shoving my face then it's back to the grind of eating a bit more healthy! Here are a few recipes I tried this week!

Chicken Tortilla Soup This was easy and delicious! We topped ours with a little sour cream and cheese...mmm!

A version of Cheesecake

This was easy and yummy. Not for the health conscious!

Buffalo Chicken Casserole

This was easy for a weeknight. It wasn't the best thing we have ever had, but it was alright. We tried to brainstorm how it could be better. I used ranch instead of blue cheese dressing. I would def use panko breadcrumbs as topping and I had to turn my broiler on to brown them. It had a slight kick to it because of the hot sauce, but not too spicy!

I have more recipes to try and I hope to get to a bunch of them while on maternity leave!

Whatever...

2011-10-02T16:59:00.000-07:00

I ventured out this morning and took Leah to church. I know large crowds and newborns are not supposed to mix BUT she was covered the whole time and no one touched her. Hopefully we are safe with that. I always find it amazing that something in church will always hit home to whatever I am going through that week. As I sat there with my brand new baby and a million new anxieties I heard this...

Philippians 4: 6 - 9
	Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
	And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
	Finally, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
	What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, do; and the God of peace will be with you. Just what I needed to hear...a gentle reminder of how to deal with all my new anxiety about Leah= PRAY! (and eat the occasional container of ice cream) Hope you can get something out of this beautiful reading.

2 weeks

2011-09-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

Leah is 2 weeks old...man how time flies :) We are still surviving...really nothing new to report. I refer to it as groundhog day around here...eat, sleep, potty and repeat x million! But we are loving every minute of it (almost anyways!) Here are a few pretty typical pictures of Leah!

Week One Down...

2011-09-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

We have survived the first week...ok the first 11 days and I must admit I am proud of Mark and I. It has been crazy, but we have managed with few meltdowns and arguments! Leah is doing awesome. She is a little oinker because all she wants to do is EAT and EAT and EAT! Which means all I have been doing is breastfeeding! That is one thing that has caught me off Gard- the amount of time I would spend feeding and pumping. Especially when a baby wants to eat every hour and half! BUT, I think Leah's tank is getting full as she is about every 2-3 hours now with an occasional 4 hour stretch! I am getting plenty of milk and adjusting to having sore boobs :) We have had tons of visitors-how blessed we are to have such great family and friends. I am handling the lack of sleep better then I thought I would! Between naps and the occasional 4 hour stretch I am managing!

Leah is a hoot! She already has an attitude like her mom! She is happiest in the mornings after a long snooze and large breakfast! She is a bit grouchy from 5-8pm, lots of walking and bouncing. She doesn't really like her swing yet, but we are working on it. She has taken a few bottles which is good thing and only likes her one paci! She is enjoyed her first bath at home, until we had to take her out of the warm water! She is sleeping in the pack n play in our room, we tried putting her in her crib last night, that lasted about 5 minutes. She was asleep when we put her down, then she woke right up and was wide awake laying the dark- too hard for daddy to stand! We will try again later this week! We had our first pediatrician appointment and she is back up to her birth weight already (oink oink)!! Overall we are doing well...it has been an adjustment to say the least! I will post some pictures soon! Thanks for all the calls, texts, visits and meals :)

Leah Hazel Franklin

2011-09-22T07:58:00.000-07:00

Mark and I welcomed Leah Hazel Franklin Friday September 16, 2011 at 9:04. She was 6lbs 7oz and 19in long. She shares a birthday with her Dad- how amazing is that! Leah is perfectly healthy and we feel so blessed, no words to describe. We are surviving our first week at home, it has had its rough point but we are managing. Leah is a doll, all she wants to do is eat so that is all we are doing. Here are a few pictures and short video. Ok, time for this momma to go take a nap!

Comfort Food

2011-09-13T18:24:00.000-07:00

So since I am done with work and just waiting patiently for Baby Franks to decide to come, I have been cooking up a storm. I guess because it is the only thing I feel like I have control over. Or maybe the fact that I am using food as time passer by right now...details details! I tried this on a whim tonight. It was easy and hit the spot with our food on the grill! Mac and cheese on the stove was good but I prefer baked for a little crunch, but I didnt plan that far ahead. I got the recipe from THIS blog...give it a try!

PS I am 38 + 5 and headed to OBGYN tomorrow...Im praying for an immediate admit to L & D...Hey a girl can dream can't she!

Complete Randomness

2011-09-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning at the Franklin household...Mark is trying to squeeze in every minute of golf he can and I am trying to think about anything besides Baby Franks and the schoolwork I should be doing. If you know me at all one of my biggest weaknesses is patience and boy I am getting a big lesson in this currently. I had a rough night on Thursday, up all night with contractions, I was thinking THIS IS IT, but no, after being up all night, the contractions slowed in the morning and eventually stopped. I got extremely frustrated with this waiting game and was annoyed with everything! 24 hours later and a night of decent sleep, I am taking a step back and realizing I need to be patient. It is hard to accept the fact that I have NO control over this situation and I just have to be patient. Umm hello, baby Franks do you know who you mother is?! She does not handle lack of control or being patient very well! I guess you are trying to teach me before you get here that you will be in control the rest of my life. I appreciate this, but it would be much easier to learn if I could see your face and know who you are, just take that into consideration as you are devising your plan to enter the world. Thank you very much!

In other news, fall has begun to show its face around here. The weather is cooling, football started last weekend, it is beginning to take over the blogging world and I must admit I AM EXCITED. Fall is my favorite season of all. I talked to one of my best friends this week who coaches basketball at BSU, she was sharing about how pre season workouts started, study tables, and funny freshman stories. It made me a bit nostalgic for my BSU college days. Being so exhausted during the week from workouts, but come Saturday morning hosting the best tailgates and ~~drinking~~ socializing all day and night, Sunday morning breakfasts and then hitting the library all day. Ahh, those were the days. This fall will be a bit different, but I know it will still be full of football, good food, studying (boo!) and much less drinking :)

So I will leave you with some lyrics from a Kenny Chesney song...this is my current life motto...

It's my life and it's sure fun
Another season of my life's begun
Another race I'm glad I get to run
Another chapter of my life I'm writin'
No I'm never gonna feel like this again
Time's rushin' by me like the wind
Gotta grab each moment that I can
Cause I'm never gonna feel like this again

Nursery and things...

2011-09-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

Instead of pictures of the nursery, I decided to re-aquaint myself with our FLIP video camera, so I will know how to use when Baby Franks arrives. Hope this works and hope you like!

Stuffed Bell Peppers

2011-09-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

I have made these before, but this was a new recipe I tried. Let me tell you, I will be using this recipe again...it was delicious and simple. I ended up only having 3 peppers on hand, but saved the left over filling for lunches and what not. These were very good, peppers cooked perfectly and filling was flavorful!

This recipe is from Simple Recipes and called Dad's Stuffed Peppers!

courtesy of simply recipes

37 and some change...

2011-09-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

I am 37 weeks and a few days...A big milestone because 37 weeks is considered term. I would feel completely comfortable if Baby Franks decided to enter the world. 3 weeks seems so far away so I have been having daily discussions with Baby Franks about all the reasons they should decide to meet us. I have mentioned that Mark and I are nice people, we have lots of fun baby things for it to use, we want to know whether we can call "he" or "she" instead of "it" or other nicknames we and others have used, we have a very ~~annoying~~ nice dog who wants to know what the heck is going on around here, football season here and we know you will love it, mommy's clothes are starting to get really tight, you have 6 cousins to meet...etc etc...But NO, Baby Franks does not like any of those reasons currently and trying to reason with an unborn baby is making me look like a crazy lady. I know little one will arrive when they are ready and we just need to be patient, but it is HARD! I am praying for patience everyday, it is not something I am good at. I have been feeling fairly good, slowing down a lot, spurts of extreme exhaustion, then energy, spurts of extreme happiness and then extreme meltdowns (I am hoping this is normal!)I truly have no reason to complain so I will leave it at that. Hopefully I will have time to post some nursery pictures this week!

30 weeks

34 weeks

Here I am at 37 weeks in all my glory! Sorry my bed isn't made!

MMMM....FOOD!!

2011-09-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

So I tried out these new recipes this week and they were both great!

From Annies Eats these Baked Southwestern Egg Rolls were surprisingly easy and delicious. I just used store bought salsa, but homemade salsa would probably be even better! I might make another batch this week and freeze them!

Also I made this Cream Cheese Chocolate Chip Dip...it is really good for you :)

From Taste of Home

Ingredients

1 package (8 ounces) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese (softened or cubed), softened
1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup (6 ounces) miniature semisweet chocolate chips
Graham cracker sticks

Directions

In a small bowl, beat cream cheese and butter until light and fluffy. Add the sugars and vanilla; beat until smooth. Stir in chocolate chips. Serve with graham cracker sticks. Yield: 2 cups.

Back to School....Back to School....

2011-08-26T06:35:00.000-07:00

So I started my last "core" class in the PNP course track this week. Nursing theory is what the class is called...hmmm...not sure what to expect. All I know is that it is 3 credit hours, online, I have a lot of reading to do and it better be manageable while on maternity leave :) I am slightly nervous about how I will juggle this, but taking the semester off was not an option for me. Deep down I think it will be okay, I might have to let go of the need to get an A, and I am trying to get ahead of the game a bit. Hopefully Baby Franks will sleep enough to let me sleep enough so I can stay awake to let me read what I need to read. It will be a challenge I am sure, but I have to remind myself of the end prize...OPTIONS in my career. I do have to share about the book we are required to read. It is called "Microbe Hunters" and here is a brief summary:

In Microbe Hunters, Paul de Kruif joins together twelve short biographies of thirteen significant individuals in the sciences of bacteriology and immunology. De Kruif directs his attention largely toward the great nineteenth and twentieth century pioneers in the struggle against microbial diseases: Louis Pasteur, Robert Koch, Walter Reed, and Paul Ehrlich. He also takes note, however, of such lesser-known figures as Theobald Smith, David Bruce, Ronald Ross, and Battista Grassi, as well as two prenineteenth century researchers of microbes, the early... BLAH BLAH BLAH

Now doesn't that sound extremely interesting? Uhh not to me! I'm sure it will be a struggle, but maybe I'll enjoy it...it is all about a positive attitude right?! And who knows maybe Baby Franks will grow up to be a scientist who studies bacteria?! ( I hope not!)

Things I Love Right Now!

2011-08-23T07:47:00.000-07:00

So I was browsing the Urban Outfitters website this morning and I came up with a current wish list....I have been eyeing shower curtains for awhile now, waiting for the "perfect" one to catch my eye for our master bath. And of course I'm always looking for duvet covers for our room and guest room. It's an easy way to freshen up the room. I hae already been eyeing things for fall, everything about fall is my weakness...I ADORE fall! Unfortunately this is a wish list as our money will be going towards diapers and nipple cream :) But hey, I hear the trade off is worth it!

These bandaids made me crack up...probablynot appropriate for a little kid :)

35 weeks

2011-08-19T17:34:00.000-07:00

Celebrating 35 weeks....Another good milestone! 5 weeks or less (hopefully) until we get to meet this little alien. I am ready to put a face and name to Baby Franklin. The good news is that Baby Franks flipped and is officially HEAD DOWN! I am so thrilled about this...I did not want a csection and even though it is still an option it is not the only option. I have been alright. I have definitely slowed down a LOT! I had a slight setback this week with come contractions and other issues, which sent me home from work and some "mini bedrest" for the weekend. So I am taking it easy which is extremely difficult for me. I want to be up and about and doing what I need to, but I guess I have no control at this point! Pretty much all the stuff is done for baby, we are waiting for curtains, but that is it. We need to put the car seat in and I guess pack a hospital bag, but that is not really stressing me out. I feel as ready as I will be. Now it is a waiting game, hopefully not in bed for the next couple of weeks. Oh yea and I start school on Monday...Just one class...but looking at the syllabus is a bit overwhelming. Ill figure it out and get through it. Looks like quite a bit of reading so hopefully I will be able to keep my eyes open and get it done. So there is the update...not much going on. Mark is good...spending any free moment on the golf course...I think he knows those trips will be a bit less in a few weeks. Alright Happy Friday!

My Boys

2011-08-17T05:44:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was my nephew Alex's 4th Birthday celebration. Mark and I headed down Friday night to have some QT with Alex, Evan and the newest addition Drew. Have I ever mentioned that I love these boys?! They crack me up, make me smile and make me so happy! Alex is really into dressing up like an "adult" like he is going to work like daddy. He likes to wear dress shirts, ties and blazers. When he is not wearing those he is really in to pirates...he is so stinking cute. Oh yea and they had their faces painted at their babysitters on Friday. Evan has the most energy I have seen in a kid, he is really in to star wars so everything is a lightsaber. And Drew, just goes with the flow, as long as he is being held, which was NO problem for me!

Notice the tie, blazer and of course pirate sword

Alex and I being silly Saturday morning

Uncle Mark and Evan being silly

Evan was practicing taking pictures

Alex all dressed up and ready for his party... Makes me smile!

Have I mentioned that I adore these boys!!!

Cake Batter Cookies

2011-08-09T17:59:00.000-07:00

Cake Batter Cookies! Very easy and delicious! They have a slightly different taste to them then original chocolate chip coookies. Between Mark and his friends they were gobbled up quickly!

From Stephanie Cooks

Source: All Recipes

Ingredients:
1 (18.25 oz.) box cake mix
1 tsp. baking powder
2 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:
1- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2-In a medium bowl, stir together the cake mix and baking powder. Add eggs and oil, then mix until well blended. (It was a bit crumbly for me so I used my hands to really mix it well- it's not as smooth as typical dough.)
3-Stir in chocolate chips, or your choice of additions. Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto cookie sheets.
4- Bake for 10 minutes in the preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheets for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Baby Franklin's Shower

2011-08-08T07:08:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago was my baby shower in Columbus hosted by my wonderful mother. My mom went above and beyond to make Mark and I and Baby Franklin feel so special= she is so good at that! We all had a great time and we got lots of "needed" things for Baby Franks. One of the best parts was that my sister Mary Beth drove in from New Jersey. We don't get to see each other all that often so it meant so much she was there...I wish she was closer...selfishly she has no idea how much I could use her here! We had a great time! Overall, I left feeling excited for our new addition. I felt extremely humbled by the generosity of our family and friends. Thank you everyone for helping us celebrate Baby Franklin!

Fun Decoration

Signature Carol (my mom)

Dolls I played with when I was little

Diaper Cake

Beautiful Flowers

Cake- it was delicious!

My sister MB hard at work!

Opening presents!

My flower girl Belle= ADORABLE

Loved this piggy bank!

In love with this diaper bag from Mary Beth

My favorite tiny cousin Brody

Finally a bump picture! It is not much so hope no one is disappointed! This is at 30 weeks!

Must Remember to Teach My Kid

2011-08-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

So after an experience today at the tire store, I must make a mental note to teach my son/daughter this...

If it's a girl and she is abnormally tall (like her mother)- I must teach her that she will get hit on for being tall, people (men) are slightly obsessed with tall women. I don't know what the obsession is but I can't even begin to tell you how true this is. The worst pick up line is "So I have to ask, How tall ARE you?" and/or "I have always wanted to date a tall woman!" I have heard these numerous times and mainly as introductory lines or in the first 30 seconds of conversation. It makes me laugh, because it is so ridiculous. Some guy told me I was intimidating today because I was tall and he liked that about me. I will tell my daughter that if a boy uses this line on her to run far far away...Pretty much the only boy I ever dated that has never asked me that has been Mark...my husband. I was so trained to talk about this with my dates, the first night Mark and I hung out I told him numerous times that I was 6'2 and he just kept looking at me wondering if he should be impressed or not!

If it's a boy- I would love for you to date a tall woman, nothing made more irked when a beautiful tall man was dating a 5 '2 girl, I always wanted to go smack them and tell them to date someone their own size. BUT please do not ever use this horrible pick up line on a tall girl. Also, when a woman is wearing a wedding ring and 8 months pregnant, please do not hit on her and act like you don't see the ring OR the baby bump. And lastly please DO NOT tell her " She doesn't look pregnant from the back, if you know what I am saying!" It will make you look like a fool!

Ok parenting lessons on being tall= CHECK!

Why My Job Really Sucks Sometimes...

2011-08-02T15:54:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows I work in the Newborn ICU, but a lot of people do not realize how the job can be sometimes. A lot of people think we hold and feed babies all day. Yes, there are some days you hold babies and feed babies most of the day, but no one realizes sometimes feeding babies is like feeding a rock..our tiny babies do not like to eat at first and it can be frustrating. Some days or weeks go by and I do not even hold one baby because they are too sick to hold. Yes, I have gone a couple weeks without holding a baby at my job and when I finally do I realize how wonderful it really is and how hard it is to take care of sick kids.

This has been on my mind a lot lately as currently our unit is busy and has a lot of sad things happen. It might also have to do with that fact that if I wouldn't have miscarried back in November, our first baby would be here or the fact that our second baby will be here in a few short weeks and I might be slightly panicking inside. People think that since I take care of babies all day I will know exactly what to do, and yes I know how to change a diaper, hold a baby, clothe a baby etc...but I have no idea HOW to be a mom, I have no idea how I will be with MY OWN child, and that scares me. I have visions of what I will be like, but they could totally change and they could be unrealistic or it could happen as I have imagined...fear of the unknown is not one of my strong points. I am already thinking about how it will be when I am pregnant for the 3rd time...how will it be different, will I miscarry again? My biggest fear is to have to go through that again. A friend recently miscarried and as I was listening to her story it stirred up so many emotions. I listened to the pain in her voice and saw the tears as she just said " I wanted THAT baby, I'm sure I can get pregnant again, but I wanted THAT one, why couldn't I have THAT one?" It made me cringe and want to vomit, remembering those feelings. I felt so much empathy for her, but did a terrible job of conveying it. I came home thinking of my own loss and how I felt the exact same way.

Following all of that, I had probably one of the worst days of my life at work. A micro preemie, who had been in our nursery forever was doing very well, taking bottles, getting ready to move into an open crib and on his way out the door. Baby's mom came in for the 2:30 feeding and left...the RN taking care of that baby hooked up the baby's feed at 5:30, at 6:00pm the baby dropped his heart rate and we never got it back...We performed CPR on that baby for almost 45 minutes, we never got it back and the baby died...before the parents could get there. Not only was it s stressful code trying everything we could for this baby, the baby died in the nurses arms, and the parents had to walk in and see their baby had not made it. We do not know why this baby died and I'm not sure we ever will, but to hear the parents grief was more then I could handle as I rubbed my own baby belly...I just could never imagine that situation and here I am living it with another family...it was cruel...Selfishly I thought about our baby and what Mark and I would do and I wanted to curl up and shut my mind off. But you have to keep going on at your job, the worst part is walking out of the hospital to go and see that the world just goes on no matter what...something I will never understand. Seeing stuff like this at work makes my job suck a lot sometimes. It makes it hard to go back. The only comfort is the support of the other nurses and having faith there is a reason for all of this, but it is hard. I am ready to go back and snuggle with a tiny 5 pounder and I think I am ready to snuggle my own ~~sure to be ginormous~~ baby. Thanks for letting me vent!

32 weeks....Holy...

2011-07-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

Crapola! 8 months pregnant?! I had a hard time imagining I would ever get to this point, now that I have I laugh at what I thought it would be like vs what it actually is like! I thought I would have this BIG beautiful preggo belly, thought it would look like I shoved a basketball up my shirt (maybe I did that when I was younger, I dont know just sayin) , thought I would have this pregnant glow that so many women I know had, thought my nursery would done, everything neatly in its place, clothes washed, pictures hung, car seat installed... now all I can say to that is HA! My basketball belly is more like a tiny little belly that sits more out to the sides then out front, depending on what shirt I am wearing, sometimes I still am not looking all that pregnant. I'm not comlaining, just stating the truth vs reality. My nursery has dropcloths over the furniture because we are still working on painting, all the things from my shower our shoved in a closet, nothing has been washed, I have no idea what I am going to hang on the walls and you know what I am still smiling. All of that is in the process of getting done, so I am not anxious about any of that. I am definatley " feeling more pregnant" ie harder to breathe, bend over, my back hurts, sleeping is not fun etc...but overall I feel great...I feel like I am just moving right along...Love feeling every kick, punch, hiccup, tumble and/or whatever else that little alien is doing in there! Im waiting on some pics from dad and will post a belly shot soon as well as a post from my shower in Columbus!

The only semi-negative thing on brain right now is the baby's position. At my OB appointment, they can't tell where the baby's head is. They think they can feel the butt/back but don't know if baby is head down or laying transverse or across my abdomen. This might explain why my bump is much wider then out...I am feeling movement all across my abdomen and not too much down low. So they are going to give me another 2 weeks, try and see if they can feel the head at my next apt, if not then do a quick ultra sound and see what is going on. If baby is head down GREAT, if not, we have to talk about options, but I am not going there yet... In the meantime between the girls at work and my ever important google research here is what I am doing to get baby to be head down...
- Girls at work our talking to the baby
- Mark is talking more to baby
- Shining a flashlight on my lower abdomen( I guess they migrate towards the light)
- Putting earphones or music down there.
- Tilting my pelvis a certain way
- Taking a megaphone and talking to the baby down there :) (kidding)
Any other helpful hints? Really praying this baby is not breech or transverse! Come on baby Franklin!!!

3 for 3

2011-07-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

So on Monday, our anniversary I had the joy of being present to welcome my third nephew, Andrew (Drew) Howard Bajorek. He was born Monday afternoon to the proud parents my brother Tim and sister in law Shonda. I was present at both Alex and Evan's birth so I was so happy my schedule allowed me to be there...It never gets old watching babies be born, especially ones you will instantly love. I can't imagine the feeling of seeing my own baby be born and how much love I will feel because this little person Drew melted my heart from the first second! I am so happy for Tim and Shonda. Shonda made birth look easy and natural. At one point I thought I should leave because this natural looking birth was setting me up for disappointment when I go in for my first birth. I can't express how great she did, she was and (still is) amazing! I also had a fun time going to pick up Alex and Evan from their babysitter, they were silly as ever and so excited to go to see baby Drew. They were gently with and wanted to give the baby lots of kisses. It was a beautiful sight to see, a new family of 5. I am thankful for this wonderful gift that Tim and Shonda have shared with me. I can't wait to get to know this little person better espcially alongside of his new cousin that will be here in 9 weeks!!!

2 Year Anniversary

2011-07-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Mark! It is crazy to think it has been 2 years already...time really does fly. We had a nice time celebrating. We decided to go out this past Friday to celebrate since Mark is able to give me a definite time for when he will be home. Mark made reservations at The Meridian, a restaurant he has been to but not me. It was very good. It felt good to go on a date with him. We were both dressed up, looking sharp and he gave me the butterflies. We enjoyed a fabulous meal, a few sips of wine and a delicious dessert. Our conversation came easy, we laughed and smiled. We talked a little about the baby but mainly about us and our relationship...it just felt good. We talked about our goals for our marriage in the upcoming months of bringing a child into the world. We both agreed that we still hope to be married and have a child that is still alive by next July :) I feel truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband that I can share my life with. I love the life we have created together and what will be created with our new addition! Cheers to 2 years!

Happy Anniversary!!

This made me smile

2011-07-13T16:11:00.000-07:00

I found this blog post in a new blog I am stalking...yes I have issues. It made me smile and look forward to coming months. Here is the LINK ! Enjoy all my preggo friends and mommy's out there!

A small bit of bragging and a big victory dance...

2011-07-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

I just have to announce ( because it feels good to say and write) that I got my grade back for my research paper...it was a whopping 98%....I'm pumped, I'm jacked, I'm excited, I'm happy, I'm proud and I am RELIEVED. This paper caused me quite a bit of stresss this summer, I was so happy to have it done last week and to just reap the rewards from my hard work feels good. I know I worked hard in my stats class but this was a different kind of work...These feelings mean so much to me because it validates my decision to go back to school. The decision was tough and I still wonder sometimes if I made the right choice, but when I saw that 98% I was like HELL YA! Ok enough raving about my wonderful research abilities...JK I didn't mind research I just know that I do not want to be a researcher! It's over and I nailed it...and it feels GOOD! Time to move on to my next challenge...getting ready for baby, birth and mommyhood...this should be interesting!

A Few Fun Weekends in July

2011-07-10T16:17:00.000-07:00

July has already been a busy month, but a fun one at that. I had the luck of being off for the entire 4th of July weekend which is just what I needed. After coming off an overtime week and busy wrapping up my research class I had a short mini visit to triage for some Braxton hicks contractions. Everything was just fine, I was monitored for a a bit, they ran a few tests and I was on my way. I wasn't too scared just slightly worried because I did not want to have to start any sort of bed rest. So the time off of work was just what the doctor ordered. I rested a lot, celebrated a friends 30th birthday party, checked some things off our nursery list, had a very small cookout and enjoyed some yummy smores.

Back at work last week was busy and with the stress of submitting my final research paper my braxton hicks started back in...I am not a fan of them. They are not painful, but they are a reminder that I need to slow down and I do not like that. One of the biggest challenges of being pregnant for me has been the loss of control I feel over my own body. I like to be able to what I want and go go go, but being pregnant has changed that. I know have to take rest breaks, put my feet up and not be on my feet so much. It is slightly irritating for me, but I am coping. It is hard when you have been control of your own body for your entire life and then bam this little baby has taken that...I guess this is the start of our baby doing that the rest of our lives :) When I take my rest breaks, I enjoy just feelin the baby move, kick and form my belly into an odd looking shapes. It makes it all worth it. I am 29 weeks....we are in the home stretch and I am getting excited. I am ready to meet this little person and learn all about it. We have ordered our crib and changing table. We also purchased a rocker recliner for the nursery as well. I am hoping since I am off school until the fall, this "nesting" phenomenon will kick in! I am sure it will especially after my showers! So there is a mini update, I will be posting pictures when we get crib and changing table in and put together!

On a side note...My brother Tim and sister in law Shonda are expecting their 3rd boy any day now...I am so excited to meet this little new nephew and hopefully our baby's best cousin friend since they will be so close in age! I will keep everything posted! So exciting!!!

We are nuts!

2011-07-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

So Mark and I were doing some cleaning in the nursery the other night and he pulled out the Baby Bjorn we were given by Todd and Tiffany ( our friend that have triplets) I told Mark I wanted to see if he could put it on and his brilliant plan was to not only put it on, but see if he could fit Bailey in it.... Bailey didn't seem to mind...

It did not fit all the way around her, but it was close!

Also, I forgot about this video I took from the other weekend. I went to visit Tim, Shonda, Alex and Evan and caught Alex performing his version of "this little piggy" on Shonda...can we say adorable!

27 weeks and thoughts....

2011-06-24T16:27:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe I am sitting here at 27 weeks, some sources tell me this is the beginning of the 3rd trimester others say it will be next week, but either way I am in the home stretch. It does not feel like it since I still technically have 13 more weeks. BUT it is something to celebrate. The farther I get the farther away from the "danger zone" I get, which only makes me relax. But in all my craziness and anxiety the 3rd trimester opens up a whole new set of thoughts, questions, and anxieties. I am worrying less about having a pre-term baby and more about my new role as a mom. A million thoughts trickle through my mind on a daily basis and I am starting to write them down in a journal so I can share them with my kid one day. Another post on that later, when I can sort through them a bit.

As for the pregnancy I feel pretty good, I really have no reason to complain. People have started to notice my belly, I must admit it is still pretty small, I still feel like I just look like I have eaten to much food or need to buy a bigger shirt. I was shopping for some clothes and at the store they have one of those "fake bumps" to try on with clothes. The one in my dressing room was 7 months, I chuckled to myself because the bump was BIG and then I looked down at myself and laughed. The fake "perfect" bump looked NOTHING like my bump. I felt sad for a few minutes that I don't have the "bump" I have envisioned but then snapped out of it because 1) I'm sure that bump will be here eventually 2) I love MY bump, because MY bump is MY baby. I gave a little squeeze to my belly and told my baby to keep on growing the way it wants to (as long as that is healthy of course)

I may not look that big, but I have noticed some major changes over the past couple weeks. I can't move around the way I used to or the way I want too. I am not comfortable sitting straight up, I get out of breath so easy, literally going up the stairs or walking fast. Sleeping has not been fun, I am propping up on pillows, still trying to sleep on my stomach and waking up with all sorts of aches in my back. And as soon as I get comfortable, I have to PEE...it is so frustrating. I pee 3-4 times a night, which I'm sure will only get worse. BUT if that is the worst of my complaints, I think I will survive. Baby Franks is moving all over the place, it loves my left side and my bladder. I can see it moving on the outside, slightly creeping, but mostly amazing
I had my glucose test this morning to check fro gestational diabetes, I will find out next week if I "passed" I go to the OB for my 28 week appointment and then I start going every 2 weeks...CRAZY! We have a lot to do, but have some plans on how we are going to get it all done. It is not stressing me out either, it will get done. I am getting excited to start getting everything in order.

So there is the update for the past couple of weeks...we are moving right along!!

The Men In My Life...A Day Late

2011-06-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

So I desperately tried to get something posted on Father's Day, but it just didn't happen. Between traveling and research group project work I didn't get home until 10:00 last night. So I thought better late then never...So Happy Father's Day to the men in my life...a small tribute to you all!

My Dad (Daddy, Paul, Pauldo, Dziadziu (Jajew: Polish for Grandpa): Everyone knows the love I have for my dad, it has grown mountains ever since I have gotten married, which is a complex I can not explain. He is the most sound, genuine, honest, faithful, loyal, respectful, loving man I have ever known or met. He never says anything negative about anyone or anything, sees the positive, minds his own business, and is completely dedicated to his family. Watching him as a grandpa to my nieces and nephews, makes me think of how we was with us kids growing up. I can't wait to see him hold my baby...I love this man!

My Father in law Larry aka the duke, pop, Mr Franks the Tank- is everything I could ask for from a father in law. He is wonderful, generous kinda heart, loves to talk and share stories, and giving. Always has a smile and a big hug waiting for me.

My Brother Tim : One of my most favorite people in the world...Always makes me smile, always makes me feel welcome and important . He is dedicated to making family a priority at all times and I love that about him. He loves movies, beer, watching Star Wars with the boys and any kind of game. Great dad to Alex and Evan.

My Brother Matt: It's hard to describe Matt in a few words....ornery, loving, jokester, giving, hard worker, big heart...to just name a few. The most like me in our family, the one I related to the best growing up, the one who pushed me the hardest, expected the most, but gave me the most. I know I could call him and he would do whatever I needed him to do. His two daughters Lilly and Diana, adore him, he is the one on the ground playing with them, throwing them around and then offering the biggest hugs. He is just Matt.

My Brother in Law Dave: Always has a smile on his face, positive outlook, and loves funny/stupid jokes. His daughter is the spitting image of him and you can tell he LOVES Lila with everything.

Last but not least My hubby Mark: My rock, the only reason I have stayed sane through this pregnancy. Not officially a dad yet, but turning into one slowly but surely. The biggest heart I know, will be filled with so much love for our baby. I can't wait to know him as the Father of my baby.

Happy Father's Day to the men I LOVE the most!!!

Things I am LOVING right now...

2011-06-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

This is my newest hair product must-have...don't know what I have been doing without it. I have received quite a bit of compliments on my hair since using this product. It is a thermal spray I use before straightening...it makes my hair so silky and SHINY...and it smells good. Def worth the 15 bucks if you as me!

The secret to the "Bump It" hairstyle I have become known for at work:) Powder hairspray...I used to use a different brand, but finally found what my hair dresser uses. I have to order it on line...it is awesome! I am spoiled with hair products, but worth it to me to spend my money on them!

Had my first week of fresh peaches= HEAVIN! Delicious, I think I am going to try them grilled next week, maybe with some ice cream...mmm...pregnant lady and food!

Really digging this crib bedding...I love polka dots and think this is the route I am going to go. I think I will substitute the blue for yellow...yellow and green such baby colors and I love them. Classic, but fun. This is it people!

People think I am nuts for not finding out what we are having... (except you Heather..you rock!!) But I like the gender neutral clothes. Don't get me wrong the boy/girl stuff is adorable, I am not crazy. But I just love the baby look of these clothes. All I can picture is a freshly bathed newborn, smelling like baby lotion, cuddled up in pajamas and it makes my heart melt....I can't wait for the first night I have that...

Excited for my first smore of the season...it better be ASAP which means we need a fire pit night!

I LOVE these 2 creatures in me life. Mark is wonderful...we are hanging out tonight and we can't stop laughing with each other. It feels good...He makes me laugh and I LOVE that. All he wants is for me to be happy...and I am! Mark holds Bailey like this all the time...this is nothing new to my household. Let's just hope he can fit a baby in there as well!!

My kid might come out looking like....

2011-06-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

a piece of FRUIT....I swear there is not enough fruit on the planet right now to satisfy my cravings for it. In the past week I have eaten an entire seedless watermelon, 3 lbs of strawberries, 1/2 box of raisins, 5 peaches, 1.5lbs of grapes, and a bunch of bananas....Im waiting to turn into a fruit or have my baby look like a piece of fruit...Everything I have read says if you eat a lot of fruit it is a girl...soooo it goes a long with my instincts that this baby is a girl... Alright off to the store to reload my fruit stash...Im such a junky!

Random Saturday Morning Thoughts...

2011-06-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning and I am up early to work on homework! I am sipping my coffee andlots of random thoughts are crossing my mind sooo here they are...

1. I have A LOT of research homework to do, BUT I am enjoying it. We have a group research project we are doing and I like our topic. I like reading the articles and determining if we can use this information. I feel l ike I am learning something, it feels good. I thought I would hate research, but I am liking it, who would have thought!!!

2. Why does Bailey have to bark at every car that passes by...I find it annoying. I wonder how this will work when our little one gets here. I hope I don't start hating her, she is such a good dog. Please figure yourself out Bailey.

3. If I wouldn't have had a miscarriage I would be 32 weeks pregnant instead of 24. I would be close to the finish line. I wonder how being pregnant with that baby would be different then being pregnant with this baby. Would I feel any different? I wouldn't know this baby if I were still preggo with that baby, and thats weird, because I love this baby so much already. I love both babies...its just weird to try and process sometimes. I want both babies!

4. I really hope I stop have dreams about delivering my own 24 weeker and then putting it back inside after I hold it for an hour...weird!

5. I get to watch Lila in a couple weeks and I CAN NOT wait!

6. Mark was at the BSU alumni golf outing yesterday, I was jealous he got to be with his college buddies BUT i get to be with mine tonight at a wedding. It is the most refreshing time to be with them and relive the good days of basketball. By far one of the top experiences of my life. I love those girls, they know me better then anyone and they are the BEST friends anyone could ask for. I feel lucky!

7. Watching the triplets every Wednesday is something I am going to be sad about giving up...they make my week. I love my time with them, especially Grey the one I took care of in the NICU. If I could hold him all day every day I would, I basically do that every Wednesday anyway. I always tell Tiffany I will take them if she doesn't want them, but she never agrees!

I think that is it...Happy Weekend!

A Month of Firsts...

2011-05-31T16:40:00.000-07:00

I turn 24 weeks this week. Man how time flies. 24 weeks is a huge milestone to some, but to a NICU nurse 24 is the WORST time..haha! This is because we deliver 24 week babies and they are considered viable, we save their tiny little lives regardless of the long term outcomes. All I know is that my little baby better stay nice and cozy inside because I can't imagine having a 24 weeker....And it looks like thats the way it is going to be...staying cozy and warm. I had my 24 week appointment today and everything checked out great. Heartbeat was strong, baby was moving, my uterus was measuring on track...all great signs. I am officially up 9.5 lbs, my belly is growing! Even though my OB asked me if anyone knew I was pregnant because he couldn't tell...very sweet, BUT I have a belly that is sprouting out! It is weird to see your body grow, but it has been fun feeling moving and starting to see kicks from the outside this past week. I really have no complaints on how I feel, I have energy and no strange symptoms, the bloody noses have stopped (YEA!!), the bad taste in my mouth comes and go, but I have nothing to complain about! It has been a busy month and Baby Franklin has experienced a lot of "firsts" this month. Here is the list:

1. 1st car accident
2. 1st plane ride
3. 1st trip to New Jersey
4. 1st trip to the Indy 500 (please if you are a girl, don't act like some of those girls down there or drink as much as your mother has there!!!)
5. 1st actual mom freakout= I was convinced you were not okay for some reason, I dopplered at work and still had to go see the OBGYN to make sure you were okay, You were not moving the way you normally do and that is NOT ok in my book. You are not allowed to rest...and if you do you must twitch every so often so I know you are ok. I swear the nurses at the OB's office are sick of me!
6. 1st week of all maternity pants after losing a button on one pair and walking around with my zipper down on another pair...it was time to give it up!
7. First blog entry from your dad. Mark decided to start his own blog for our baby. Mark has not said much about his thoughts and feelings as a dad during this pregnancy and I think it was getting to him. This is a great way for him to get out his anxieties, dreams and hopes. The first entry SHOCKED me. You think you know your husband, but it was great to read his thoughts. He is amazing! Here is Mark's Blog

I think that was it and I think that is enough for one month (actually 2 weeks) It has been a good start...only 16 more weeks to go (hopefully like 14 which means you will want to come at 38 weeks which will be ok with me!!) That's all I got!!!

Bailey

2011-05-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

It has been two weeks since Bailey was diagnosed with hypothyroidism... I have since let go of my guilt for not knowing this about our doggie and we have developed a nice plan for her health. She has started on a medication called synthroid to help increase her thyroid function. She doesn't mind taking it as I have bought mini marshmellows and shove the tiny pill inside and she thinks these tiny marshmellows are heaven since she is not getting treats anymore. We have cut her food back even more then before as advised by our vet. She is surviving on what we are giving her and acting as if she is just fine with the decrease. At night time we are cutting her food back even more and filling half of her bowl with green beans as advised by the vet. It is a filler with no calories. Bailey LOVES it. She is in heaven at night time, she comes downstairs with green beans all over her nose. She knows when I am opening the can and starts going crazy. At least she is happy and still eating. I really feel like the patches of hair that have gone missing are starting to regrow some hair so hopefully within the next couple of months they will slowly disappear. As for her energy level, Im not sure if I notice a difference or not. She is now getting walked every day instead of just a few times a week and we are playing with her more outside. She doesn't mind this, but still is sleeping pretty hard. Overall I feel pretty good about her progress. Yes she she is a dog, and this new routine is not causing much interruption. But we love her and want our kids to know her. I was sorting through baby clothes we got from a friend and I left the room and when I came back she was laying all over the newborn piles of clothes. Made me smile. I hope by the time our baby comes in the fall she is feeling in tip top doggie shape!

Weekend Recap and Some Random Thoughts

2011-05-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

I had a great time in New Jersey with sister Mar Beth and brother in law Brian. Despite some minor flying issues, I managed to get there only a few hours late it was a relaxing weekend and just what I needed. I got some QT with my sister, we talked a lot about baby, did some baby shopping and registering. She caught me up to date with the latest in their life and it was nice to see her little life she has created with Brian. I also got to see my uncle, cousin and 95 year old grandma. My sweet old grandma was cracking me up, she had her hair done, her lipstick on and was ready for some company. She recently got a motorized wheelchair, but is refusing to use it. Brian and I had no problem testing it out, after running into numerous things in her house and crying because I was laughing so hard, Granny was getting mad so we had to put it away. We had a nice lunch and then story time began. Granny told me every story she could think of...I just held her hand and listened. She is the sweetest old lady and is just lonely. Makes me miss her bunches, but I know she is in good hands with her Polish caretaker and family around her. I couldn't help but think of my child sitting there with my mother in 20 years...it will go fast. I had a great time with Mary Beth, I miss her and can't wait to see her in July.

Now I am home, Mark is gone on business for a little bit and I have a few days off. I have a made a to do list a mile long, but yet I sit here blogging. None of the stuff is urgent, except my research homework, but I did most of it yesterday. I looked at my calendar and I only have like 5 free 2 day weekends left until the baby comes. Not very much time, for the amount of things I have to be doing. We are planning on looking at cribs next week...most people probably are cringing that I haven't ordered my crib yet, but Im not worried about it. It will all get done, as long as I don't go on bedrest I'll be good. I have not had the desire to get started on the room yet or anything else, because in my head, my baby is not even viable yet. I mean, if I had the baby today, it would not survive and coming home to a nursery would be miserable. I know that is grim and dim but it is the truth. Oh the joys of working in the NICU. When it comes down to it, I am scared...scared something will happen to this baby, something I can't control. If this was my first pregnancy I wonder if I would feel this way?! I wish I could be naive and not know what it feels like, but I am not. I am scared...I want this baby...I want it be healthy...I want a chubby little monster to take home....but I am not guaranteed that yet...I know there are still risks after the 24 week mark, the only way I will be able to relax is when that baby is in my arms. So does it really matter if my nursery is perfect and complete? Not in my mind it doesn't. I am enjoying this pregnancy, I am enjoying being pregnant, but it is a cautious feeling that only people that have had miscarriages can understand. I am bonding with this baby in my own way, but it has nothing to do with buying things for the baby...that is the least important thing for me right now. So hang in there with me friends, Im sorry if I'm stressing you out, or seem heartless, or whatever your thoughts of me are. Mark and I will figure this out...We have it under control. We are creating our family and I love how we are doing it. Alright off to check some things off my list...

This Weekend...

2011-05-20T06:15:00.000-07:00

Today I am off to visit my sister Mary Beth in New Jersey. This trip could not have come at a better time for me and probably for her even though she won't admit it. This was kind of spur of the moment trip, about a month ago I looked at Mark and said " I need to go see my sister" I don't know why I felt like that all of a sudden, but I missed her. I felt tiny tugs at my heart for her and I knew I needed to go. The relationship between my sister and I is a different one. We are complete opposites and growing up that caused a lot of fights and not getting along. As we have gotten older, that has changed. I have come to appreciate our differences. Mary Beth, MB, Beezer is the most trustworthy person I know and the most generous. I know if I needed something, she would hop on the first plane and be here. It sucks that we live so far apart and her job ( Secret Service Agent...yea she's a badass) doesn't allow her much time off. Like I said, the trip is perfect timing for me. I need a break from all of this stuff going on around here. I have not started anything for baby (all I have is a breast pump and some clothes from my triplet family) and it just hasn't hit me to get started yet...more on that another time. Well MB wants to take me and do some baby stuff this weekend...maybe starting my registry...and honestly for the first time I'm excited to do this with her. She will take away all my anxieties and it will be fun. I LOVE her! Ok I don't want her head to get too big :) So I'm off for 4 days and loving it!!!!

And Breathe....

2011-05-16T06:24:00.000-07:00

It has been a crazy busy week and half...this is the first chance I have had to sit down and think about something else other then what I have to do next...busy busy busy! I'm sitting here with some morning coffee (sorry baby) and it feels so good to not have to race out the door! A brief recap....My car is on the shop after being hit the other morning by someone, Mark's car died, dead that was it after 190,000 miles, we went car shopping, bought a new car, had to take Bailey to the vet, found out she is hypothyroid and needs to go on some medicine, my car in the shop needs a little extra work done, Mark refused to turn the air on so we were camping out in the basement, I worked the weekend, and started my summer research class! Ok maybe it doesnt sound that busy, but making adult decisions (ie car) takes a lot out of me. I know life is only going to get worse in the coming months especially after our little one gets here. Anyways it feels good to just have a relaxing morning, love my morning alone time.

Meanwhile, I have reached the 21 week mark in my pregnancy, that means the count down is in the teens!! Whoo HOO! I am feeling pretty good I can't complain. The biggest change is the amount of movement I have been feeling...this kid is turning circles inside of me. It has been punching my insides...it feels so weird! Mark actually got to feel the baby kick this week for the first time... I would like to report it was this magical moment but all Mark said was "wow what's that little f*&ker doing in there?" Seriously babe? Thats all you can say?! I just laughed because that is Mark and I shouldn't expect anything less! I am starting to get a tiny bump, have to wear tighter shirts in order to see it, but it is there. All anyone asks me is "when are you going to start showing?!" I want to punch them, because I have no control over my long torso and baby bump! (HORMONES!) But I love my little bump even if Im the only one who can see it.

How far along: 21

Total weight gain/loss: + 5lbs ( Haven't weighed since my last MD appointment)
Maternity clothes: Still awkward stage, wearing mainly my one pair of maternity jeans, sweats and scrubs. Wore a few maternity tops, make me look a little more preggers
Stretch marks?: No...covering my body in Mamma Bee's oil lotion every night. But this cellulite can GO AWAY
Sleep: Still no complaints, waking up to pee a MILLION times, still sleeping on my tummy, will miss this!
Best moment this week: Mark feeling baby kick, buying a new car
Movement: Kicks, punches and circles
Food cravings: Coke, don't know where this came from, but it tastes so good!
Gender: Surprise!!! My gut still says girl!
What I miss: Not having issues with my clothes...Im used to everything fitting great! I still miss the ability to stay up late ( well past 9pm to be able to get some stuff done around here. And with this warmer weather I missed having a beer on my back porch!

Milestones: Countdown is into the teens! 19 weeks left!

Baby is the size of a Banana...mmmm!

I have to share the cuteness of this...

2011-05-04T06:24:00.000-07:00

Ok...so I am probably the most annoying Aunt or Cioci (aunt in Polish) in the world. Im sure my brothers and sister-in-laws think I am overly obsessed with their kids and would steal them at the first chance I could get. The truth is I AM overly obsessed and I WOULD steal them if I could. Sometimes I have to be reminded that they are not my children...whoops! Does this mean I will be crazy with my own? Most definitely YES! So anyways, here is a picture of the Evan, Lilly, Diana, and Alex looks like last fall sometime. Impossible to get everyone looking let alone smiling at the camera. It makes me smile!

Here is another attempt, when they were all visit my parents a few weeks ago. Yes, I cried that I wasn't there.

If this doesn't make you smile, you are CRAZY! Here is Diana, Lilly, Evan, and Alex...this looks disastrous and chaotic...I LOVE chaotic. I want my house to be this chaotic one day with my little kiddies running around and possibly the 4 other kids I will have kidnapped by then! I have to share that Tim and Shonda are adding a 3rd boy into this mix at the end of July= AWESOME= MORE CHAOS! Mark and I will be adding "something" to this picture at the end of September= EXCITING= COMPLETE CHAOS. I have to admit I have the image of this future picture in my head that my kid will be sitting there, spotlessly clean and cute, smiling, and behaving...Doubt it will happen, but it is nice to imagine. Looking at Alex pick his nose makes me laugh out loud!

I had to share this picture of me with Lilly on left and Diana on right. ( I hope I am getting this right) Seriously this is the definition of cuteness...Look at those sunglasses...see having a girl wouldn't be ALL that bad...Ok enough of my gushing and bragging about my nieces and nephews. Back to plotting my kidnapping plan!

I also can not forget my other adorable niece Lila. This is Mark's brothers daughter. She is a breath of fresh air with her happy personality, her nosey-ness, and adorable noises! She just turned one and I think I could add her to the kidnapping plan as well!

Weeks 18 & 19

2011-05-02T06:01:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy two weeks as my previous posts have detailed. With the passing of our anatomy scan and the reassurance of a healthy baby it has been a good couple of weeks. I am feeling pretty good. Really just being tired is my only symptom, but maybe Im milking it a bit?! Who knows BUT I am being way more productive then I have been, so I am thankful for that.

How far along: 19

Total weight gain/loss: + 5lbs

Maternity clothes: In a totally akward stage...My clothes make me look super chuppy, maternity clothes don't fit quite right...living in sweatpants
Stretch marks?: No...covering my body in Mamma Bee's oil lotion every night.

Sleep: Can't complain minus the peeing part. I am currently getting up about 4 times per night to pee...AHH!

Best moment this week: Anatomy Ultra Sound
Movement: No strong kicks yet, but feeling pretty consistent flutters. I LOVE it.
Food cravings: Still drinking my orange juice and started on some rasberry lemonade. Living on cereal!
Gender: We did not find out...Im still convinced it is a girl. Mark thinks boy.

What I miss: Not having issues with my clothes...Im used to everything fitting great! I still miss the ability to stay up late ( well past 9pm to be able to get some stuff done around here.

Milestones: I guess feeling movement!

Baby is the size of a Mango. Our baby weighed in at 9 oz!

We Survived

2011-04-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

Well...we made it!!! We survived our ultra sound...it was wonderful! I loved seeing baby again...my oh my how it has grown since last time. Mark was in shock about how different it looked from our 10 week one. I must start out by saying that I planned on waking up early showering and getting ready for our big day...well I overslept, my hair was slightly wet, I manage to put some cover up on my every increasing acne since pregnancy and get out the door to only be 5 minutes late to the appointment. I was rushed and anxious and not how I wanted to start the day. Then we got a different ultra sound tech then last time, this was ok...she was nice, but not overly friendly and as Mark put it " She was all about her J O B!" So I felt like she was kind of rushing through things and semi insensitive to the fact that we were unsure about wanting to find out or not. I explained I was a NICU nurse and I wanted her to slow down and explain everything she was doing...she did, but I wasn't impressed. I guess I need to get over that because our baby is HEALTHY! 10 fingers, 10 toes, 4 chamber heart, closed spinal cord, closed abdominal wall, no cleft lip and intact brain. How amazing is that?! Thank God for a healthy baby. We eventually decided we did not want to find the sex, the tech assured those downstairs parts looked normal and that was good enough for us. So we are still Team Green. We did get a look at the genitals but we had no idea what we were looking at, I really couldn't tell...DANG! haha! SO it is over, we have a healthy baby, and we survived the temptation. Loved watching Mark through all of this, he was so sweet, just looking in amazement...He is going to be such a good dad! So now it is time to move on to the next step, which I don't even know what that is, but Im working on figuring that out. Thanks for listening to my anxieties over the past 2 days! I can't believe I am really pregnant....lets get this show on the road!!!

Baby's Face, hand up by the mouth (that is not it's penis mom!) Two eyes and an adorable Bajorek Polish Nose

Non 3-D, profile, sticking it's gorilla lips out (thanks Franklin's) curled in a ball, can see the spine!

I'm in Overdrive....

2011-04-25T15:16:00.000-07:00

Probably in part to the excited anxiety I have about my ultra sound tomorrow morning. Thinking this could potentially be my last ultra sound before I get to see my baby on their birthday makes me nervous, I need to take it all in...asborb every second, no every milisecond...I'm excited to see the little "alien" as I have deemed him/her, I want to see it move, roll, toes, fingers, and heartbeat. I slightly want to see their downstairs area, but with no one telling me ...haha! See I have been team green since I think before I was in college. I always knew I wanted the surprise in the delivery and when I am working in the delivery and the parents don't know I get the chills...I figured this is the way for me...Until I met Mark...Mark and his family NEVER do surprises, they are the WORST at them (sorry Franklin's!) I always know my Christmas, birthday and anniversary presents before, no secrets, no surprises. Mark is DYING to find out what we are having. He is slightly convincing me this is the way I need to be as well. We have ~~argued~~ discuss the pro's and con's of finding out vs. not finding out and I can tell you that I still don't want to find out, but there is a HUGE part of me that wants to give in and blame it on my hubby...soo tomorrow morning 9:30 my temptation will be put to the test...I feel I will not sway, but who knows when I see that little love bug on the screen...Im praying for strength tonight for BOTH Mark and I. The anxiety of wondeing if everything is formed properly is something I can't entertain for long in my mind, it drives me nuts. I think of the WORST situations possible and panic...so I am offering that up and trusting I can deal with whatever is put on plate tomorrow....Hopefully I will have some good pics to share!

Also the past few weeks have been jam-packed. With the winding down of the school semester, deciding to take summer classes to lighten my load in the fall, work, family, and so on...It felt good to have a day off today with nothing to do, but I am a CRAZY woman. I decided the best way to spend my day today was cleaning baseboards...REALLY? I was moving furniture on my hands and knees scrubbing...cleaning out closets, doing laundry, making list after list of things I "need to get done"...Im in overdrive. I think Im starting to slightly panic about all we have to do to get ready for baby, on top of our packed summer schedule. I'm starting to stress about nursery, because I have NO CLUE what I want to do, how it will all come to together...My clothes are starting to not fit, maternity clothes are too big, I'm getting a thicker stomach region, need to figure something out. Life could always be busier I know...I just need to organize me thoughts and schedule, but somehow when I start to do this, I tell myself to take a nap...haha! Im hoping after tomorrow, my anxiety will be quieted and I can get to business! Tell me I'm not crazy here!

Alright, enough venting right now...Time to get back to list making... :) Will update tomorrow!

My night with Lilly and Diana

2011-04-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

I got the pleasure of watching my nieces Lilly and Diana last night. We had such a good time, 2 kids is not easy by any means, I was glad to get home and go to BED! The girls sometimes are a bit fussy at night time, but last night they were in a great mood so I kept them up past their bedtime and taugh them this new trick! We were laughing, hugging and kissing, and playing around. It was so fun! Here are a few videos of them!

Can we say adorable!!!

Week 16 and 17

2011-04-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

This week I started my 17th week...crazy to think! Week 16 and 17 were nothin too much to speak of. I have been feeling pretty good, having some more energy, and starting to think about all I have to do in the upcoming weeks. I kind of feel like I am in holding pattern, I feel it is to early to start doing anything for the nursery (not that I have a clue what I want to do!) I just feel stuck...So Im reminding myself that I need to just relax and enjoy this part of my pregnancy. I have not felt any movement yet, Im still saying it is gas bubbles...I want a hard kick..unrealistic I know, but I want to know for sure! I am still wearing my regular clothes, sometimes at night unbuttoning the top button. I feel like I have a little pooch, but Mark thinks I am making it up. My next ultra sound is in a couple of weeks, it is the anatomy scan...we are planning on not finding out if it is a boy or girl! Im looking forward to the end surprise, but I must admit...it is getting harder and harder...I know I will be tempted to find out at my appointment, but I have to keep the end prize in mind...a wonderful surprise moment! Im secretly hoping that I will get a shot of the baby's "parts" haha...Im think I will have better luck with that if it is a boy...Speaking of boys....Is it bad to admit that I want a boy?! Don't get me wrong, I want the baby to be healthy blah blah blah, but Mark and I both want a boy. The weird thing is that my deep down gut feeling says it is a girl. It will take probably a little time to get used to the idea of a girl, but Im sure it wont be long. I know I will not be disappointed either way, Im just being honest! Well there is my little recap, nothing too exciting just some random pregnant thoughts! Baby is the size of onion, but doing so many amazing things...I'm looking forward to the weeks ahead!

Book Review

2011-04-11T08:08:00.000-07:00

A New York Times bestseller. Paris, July 1942: Sarah, a ten year-old girl, is brutally arrested with her family by the French police in the Vel’ d’Hiv’ roundup, but not before she locks her younger brother in a cupboard in the family's apartment, thinking that she will be back within a few hours.Paris, May 2002: On Vel’ d’Hiv’s 60th anniversary, journalist Julia Jarmond is asked to write an article about this black day in France's past. Through her contemporary investigation, she stumbles onto a trail of long-hidden family secrets that connect her to Sarah. Julia finds herself compelled to retrace the girl's ordeal, from that terrible term in the Vel d'Hiv', to the camps, and beyond. As she probes into Sarah's past, she begins to question her own place in France, and to reevaluate her marriage and her life. Tatiana de Rosnay offers us a brilliantly subtle, compelling portrait of France under occupation and reveals the taboos and silence that surround this painful episode.

I read this boon in about a week...It was very well written and kept my attention. It is sad, I will worn you, not many happy thoughts but a good reminder of the Holocaust. I was unware of what happened in France during this time, so it was interesting to read a bit of history. I would recommended this book! Maybe something with a little more cheer next time!

First Trimester Recap

2011-04-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

Since I was in no mood to journal during my first trimester I decided to write a mini recap so at least I will have something to look back on (does this make me a bad mother already?!)

January 9...First positive pregnancy test...5:30 am before I went to work. I have no idea what made me decide to take one, but I did and it was positive. I turned the light on at 5:30 and said "Welp, I am pregnant" Mark answered ~~slightly annoyed~~ " Really, let me see" He was not convinced it was a positive test ( It had lines not the digital) He claimed he had to see the word pregnant to believe it. So off to work I went, stopping by Kroger, buying 4 more pregnancy tests. I went to work and used two of them...The word pregnant popped up... (insert smiley face here!!) I text Mark a picture of the test and it wasn't until I got home that night did he actually start believing it, as I peed on every pregnancy test I could get my hands on. What a wonderful memory I have of this evening...We were thrilled.

January 11...Called my OBGYN....long story short I had an early loss in November so I was slightly worried that maybe something else besides pregnancy. When I talked to my OB he informed it was possible I could be pregnant already and wanted me to come in and have my beta levels drawn to see what was going on. So in I went for blood work, told the lab at my work it was STAT and within an hour I got the results...289= pregnant. I wanted to scream. The real test is if the the beta levels double within 48 hrs, that means that things are progressing normally. My beta levels with my miscarriage were never over 100, anything less then 5 means you are not pregnant, but the doubling is what they look for..

January 15...Saturday, we were headed to Cincinnati for my nephew Evan's birthday party, I knew I had to get to the lab and get my results so I could rest assured (I am nuts, I know) So Mark took me early in the am and once again I put a STAT order on the results. A couple hours later I was staring a 723...more then doubled...we were headed in the right direction. I can't explain the relief I felt, knowing that it was a pregnancy and not something from my miscarriage....off to Cincy we went and decided to just tell my family...we wanted to tell face to face and we wanted everyone to be able to be happy with us. My family was such a support during the rough time in November, we just wanted to be happy. Our family was thrilled to say the least! The next step with the OBGYN was to come in an early ultra sound to confirm everything...

January 27...First appointment at 6 weeks...I was so anxious for this, I was convinced something would be wrong....Mark wanted to shoot me I was so nervous. So we go in the appointment and I am shaking. He starts to do the ultra sound...confirms the pregnancy and says if I would hold still we should be able to see the heart beat...Mark had to hold my legs still...HOT I know...and there it was a tiny circle, with a fast flicker...our babies heart beating...one of the most amazing moments in our relationship.

January 27- February 28th: weeks 6 through 10...lots of sleeping, lots of anxiety, lots of nausea, a little vomiting, a lot of terrible tastes in my mouth, a lot of sleeping, a lot of just feeling like crap. My worst time was in the evening, about 5pm on, I was done..just wanted to go to bed..was nausea and had terrible metal mouth...blah! I survived, it could have been worse I know, but not fun at any point!

February 28th- 10 week appointment, first "official appointment". We got to hear the heartbeat at this appointment. At first he just wanted to Doppler me, but I demanded another ultra sound...I'm crazy I told you. So we got to see baby, how different it looked from 6 weeks, see and hear the heartbeat...overall an awesome appointment. I did not cry...which was so surprising to me, I just sat and looked...Mark was so excited! Got my blood work, everything checked out fine.

Feb 28 through March 15- weeks 10-12...pretty boring, lots of sleep, lots of night time bloating, lots of bad tastes in my mouth.

March 15- We opted to do the First Trimester screening for down syndrome and other birth defects...blood work and an ultra sound. I went by myself, thinking this would be no big deal, Mark wouldn't miss much. Boy was I wrong...this is when I officially fell in love. I was told to drink a little caffeine or sugar before going in to help make the baby move, after chugging 16 ounces of orange juice, baby was doing circles...sorry baby. It was moving around, staring right at us, heart beating..all I know is that is was amaazing. I can't explain it...this is when I first cried and thought "I love you" ...I wish Mark would have been there!!

That pretty much sums up the first trimester. It was a lot of doctor's appointments, a lot of anxiety and a lot of orange juice! I survived and now onto the 2nd trimester...which I have heard it fabulous!

15 Week Appointment

2011-04-04T08:50:00.000-07:00

I had my 15 week appointment last Friday...everything went well. I met with another OBGYN in the practice and that was something different for me. I don't do well with change...haha. The biggest change is that she is a woman and my usual doctor is a male...such a difference! Females are so much more sensitive and willing to listen...it caught me off guard! Im used to my male in and out...answers my questions matter of fact and tells me to just fricken relax (pretty much sums it up!) It was a nice change of pace, but will be looking forward to my regular OB next time. Appointment was pretty boring, weight check, vitals, pee on ~~your hand~~ in a cup and listen to the heartbeat...which is always exciting...except for the fact that 2 days prior my friend and I at work snuck down to triage and asked to borrow their doppler. We preceded to doppler each other...with not much success...had to call another nurse who knew what she was doing and then finally we found them...ahhh beautiful little heartbeats. Such a fun experience! Here is a little synopsis of week 15...sorry no pictures yet, we are just not into taking them, maybe this week!

How far along: 15
Total weight gain/loss: + 4lbs
Maternity clothes: umm no...at night time extremely bloated. Have worn them, but mainly just unbutton top button.
Stretch marks?: No...covering my body in Mamma Bee's oil lotion every night.
Sleep: Pretty good...could be worse!

Best moment this week: Triage heartbeat fiasco...haha!
Movement: Not yet, swore I felt something about a week ago, but probably too early
Food cravings: Still orange juice and any kinda of fruit...heaven!
Gender: Still planning on not finding out. Im still convinced it is a girl.

What I miss: Wine (is that bad?) Being able to stay up late without being miserable, energy
Milestones: Nothing yet I think... Baby is the size of an orange!

New Favorite CD...

2011-03-29T17:27:00.000-07:00

I bought a new CD of a new artist I just came across and I am in love...It has been on repeat in my car for over a week now and I'm not planning on changing it any time soon... Her name is Adele and she is comparable to a Joss Stone, a strong female voice with good lyrics...check her out!

It's Official...

2011-03-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

I am PREGNANT!!! I officially got outed at work this week in the lunch room and since that day numerous people at work have approached me saying they have heard the good news...So I figured the last place to announce it was my blog. I turned 14 weeks this past Friday and it is such a relief to say that I am in my second trimester. It has been a long couple months with a roller coaster of emotions, but I must say I am just truly filled with joy and excitement. I am due September 23, a perfect fall baby...my favorite time of the year...LOVE IT! Some you may be wondering what I am going to do about school and my response to you is that I'm just going to do it...I will have 2 online classes on maternity and people may think that's crazy, but I will just figure it out. I will get it done, it may not be perfect but taking a semester off is not an option. So that is that!

Now onto a few details...I found out I was pregnant in early January I was probably only about 4 weeks...Mark and I were thrilled. Had an early ultra sound at 6 weeks, could see the heartbeat but could not hear it, I had an ultra sound at 10 weeks, we could see the baby move, see and HEAR the heartbeat...pretty cool. I had a 3rd ultra sound for some screening purposes and that baby was rolling in circles, moving all over the place and that's when I officially fell in love. I think it really hit me at that appointment that this is really happening. I am so excited! There have been a lot of emotions this first trimester, maybe another post at another time, but right now I'm reveling in the fact that I am over filled with joy. So now it's official...I think everyone knows and I'm starting to feel okay with that. I wanted quite a bit of privacy at the beginning, but now I'm just going to enjoy it. And and now introducing my little alien...

What's for DInner...

2011-03-14T17:11:00.000-07:00

Mark was requesting meatloaf for dinner this week....meatloaf??!! REALLY?!? I can't remember the last time I ate meatloaf, let alone an attempt to make it! So with some new found energy I looked into blogger world and found a million and one recipes. I adapted a few recipes into one and went for it...I'm not going to lie it did not look very appetizing but it was yummy!!

Here is what I did:

1.5lbs of ground beef
1 chopped onion
3/4 c. breadcrumbs ( I used Italian)
1/2 c. chicken broth
I added sage, salt, pepper, and garlic salt a pinch at a time
approx 1/2 c ketchup
3 eggs

I mixed it all together, put it in my loaf plan and topped with more ketchup. Baked at 375 for 1hour and 15 minutes. It was moist and delicious. Served with sweet potatoes and green beans! I have one happy husband tonight! I had to blog about it so I wouldn't forget what I did! It feels good to be back in the kitchen again!

Fat Tuesday

2011-03-08T07:36:00.000-08:00

Today is Fat Tuesday....that means tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent and the Easter Season. I must admit I would rather be in New Orleans celebrating Mardi Gras then sitting at home in a sweatshirt and sweatpants trying to figure out the probability of some random medical testing I do not care about for my stats class. Oh to be at the Mardi Gras parades stuffing my mouth with delicious treats...instead I am going to walk on the treadmill...I guess this is life. You don't always get to do what you want or what you dream of because of the day to day tasks of life. But when I start to think about all the stuff I can't do I remind myself of the stuff I CAN do. I am pretty lucky in my life. Making a list of the things I am blessed with and thankful for is a great reminder of the fabulous life I live everyday (even though it doesn't always feel that way) So today I am throwing my own Mardi Gras celebration...I am actually going to make dinner tonight since I have been seriously lacking in that department and make a yummy treat to celebrate Fat Tuesday...Then it is time to focus on Lent and what I will be giving up/or promising to do 40 days. I have no idea what to do this year I am hoping I can come up with something meaningful. Are you doing anything for Lent?

I'm Still Alive....

2011-03-06T07:31:00.000-08:00

I had dinner with 2 of my sister in laws last night and they were giving my grief about my lack of blogging lately. I have to admit I have been a total slacker this past month. I don't feel like I have much to share, maybe about the hatred for my stats class, the fact I have not been cooking and eating cereal for dinner almost every night, or the fact I have had no creative stirrings these past few months. My house is blah no fun decorations...I have just been in maintain mode. I don't think that is bad, it is just boring! Maybe it has to do with the dragging weather, the snow, rain and a few nice days that were a HUGE tease! I'm starting to feel spring in the air, it is staying lighter a bit longer and I can hear the birds chirping in the morning. I am hoping once the weather gets nicer my creative stirrings will return! The month of March is one of my favorite months because it marks the beginning of spring or maybe it is because my birthday is this month (details details!) I also love St. Patrick's Day...even thought I am not Irish, I always had a great time celebrating in college. ( I will not be sharing pictures of those days!) I am hoping to be getting a little groove back in my step and serioulsy praying for some warmer weather to help inspire my blogging!

Baked Potato Soup

2011-02-01T13:00:00.000-08:00

I made this soup today admist the ice storm and cold weather. It felt good to hibernate in my house, make a good pot of soup and get some stuff done around here. I have been a terrible blogger lately...Im finding myself at a loss for things to blog about...Anything you are interested in knowing?

Ok here us the recipe for the soup I used...Loaded Baked Potato Soup

Picture from Stolenmomentscooking

Crazy...

2011-01-22T09:33:00.000-08:00

It has been a crazy couple of weeks...trying to adjust to my new schedule has been interesting, but I have loved. The worst part about all of it is I have been hit with a terrible stuffy nose and major congestion...if that wouldn't have happened I would be feeling a lot better about everything!

School started....I have to admit I was so nervous walking into my first class...So many different emotions going through me. "Would I be able to do this" " Will I look like a nerd walking into this class" "What if I don't pass stats" "what if I don't like this after I start" "what if I change my mind about what I want to do" "I don't want to let Mark down" and the what if's after what if's starting flooding me. I think it is pretty normal to question such a big change and commitment. I think it has hit me what a big commitment this will be for me as well as Mark...but I am excited. After the nerves settled and the first homework assignment completed, I took a deep breath and felt peace with my decision. It feels good to know that I made the right decision for myself. It feels good to have the support of my husband. It feels good to be able to do something for myself within my marriage. I know without a doubt I have made the right choice for myself. I can't express how good that feels...I haven't felt it in awhile. So I am settling in and busy with reading and homework and enjoying every minute of it!

Last weekend we also went to Cincinnati to celebrate my nephew Evan's 2nd birthday. I can't believe he is 2 already. I remember the day he was born as my sister in law Shonda let me be in the delivery room. That is a pretty cool experience. It makes me feel so special that I can remember them (Alex as well) being born. I love these boys and sharing their birthdays is always fun! They refer to me as Cioci Becca (Chutche) It is the polish word for aunt...but they pronounce it chucky...and I love it. We had a great time being with family. Matt and Lauren also brought Lilly and Diana and it was chaos as always! Love me some good family time!

The Birthday Boy

Alex wishing it was his birthday

Lilly pushing Diana

Officially Starting

2011-01-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

This weeks marks the beginning of a new chapter of my life. Lots of changes are underway. I am officially part time in the NICU...WHOOO HOOO! is all I can say to that! With this part time status change, I will also be working as needed in the Pediatric ICU. My plans are still to work full time hours, but just have some flexibility with my third day, which feels so less constraining to me. I can work an 8 hour shift or work in PICU...I love that I have that option available to me.

School officially starts on Wednesday. I have my first class Wednesday afternoon...It is stats...I'm scared and nervous because I struggled with my undergrad stats class, I'm just going to have to take it a class at a time. My other class is on-line and it is a Nursing Leadership class. It seems manageable, lots of reading and writing. I'm so excited to be using my brain to learn new things...I have been craving this. It is going to be busy, but I'm ready for the challenge. Also, starting on Wednesdays I will be babysitting for an adorable set of triplets I took care of the NICU. I mean seriously, who wouldn't want to do that?!?!? I get to feed them, hold them, play with them and it is awesome and then I get to leave them! haha! They are some of the cutest kids I know and I'm looking forward to this. So my Wednesdays are shot with babysitting and class!

So there are all the changes in my life officially starting this week...I am so ready for this change, I need this change and I want this change. I'm sure updates will come...and I'm sure pretty soon Ill be asking if anyone knows a Stats tutor...:)

Mushroom Soup

2011-01-06T15:11:00.000-08:00

I love mushrooms, any kinda, any way and in any dish...Mark hates mushrooms. I hate that he hates mushrooms because I don't cook with them nearly as much I would if I were single....So when I saw this Mushroom soup I decided I had to make it regardless of whether Mark would eat it. I made it for lunch today. It was easy, creamy, and delicious. I highly recommend doing that last step of creaming the celery stalk and cup of soup, it made the soup as creamy as it was. Best of all, It is low in calories and fat. I had it with a side salad and some avocado! MMM!!

I phone humor

2011-01-05T16:45:00.000-08:00

I found this website called Damn you autocorrect . Auto-correct is similar to T-9, but on the iphone. I have had my Iphone for a few months but I am constantly texting people the wrong things because of auto-correct. This website compiles funny text messages people have sent...This one made me crack up out loud...thought I would share!

NYE 2010

2011-01-01T16:47:00.000-08:00

One of Mark's oldest and closest friends got married this NYE. We had an amazing time...What better way to ring in the New Year with our closest friends, dressed up drinking and dancing. We had so much fun. The wedding was on the Southside of Indianapolis, we all stayed in a hotel down there and it was beautiful. I have never been to a wedding in the Christmas season so that was fun. Here are a few highlights....And next year my bestest friend is getting married on NYE...bring it on!!!

Kate, Me and Alyssa

Our table and BFF's

The Ball State Football Boys...LOVE EM!

Boys with the Groom!

Ashley, Katie and Me on the dance floor

All the wifey's and girlfriends

Scott, Mark, Nick and Conrad

Me and Erica

After Midnight

Mark feeling real good

After the ball dropped with the bride and groom Michael and Lauren

Me and the groom....Love this boy!

Mark rapped and sang a song per bride and grooms request

Dancing with the bride and groom!

The Beauty of it

2010-12-27T18:33:00.000-08:00

A reflection from the author Mark Nepo:

"If all I have is Now,
where will I look for Joy?"

Without hope for the future, without hope that things will change, with no hope of finding what's been lost, with only the risk to crack open all that has hardened about me, what will I do with what I have?

At first, this might seem scary or sad, but as a tired swimmer comes ashore surprised to find pearls washing through his legs, I lift my tired head again and again to find all I need is right where I am.

But being human, I stray and dream of lives other then my own, and soon I am busy wanting something else, somewhere else, someone else, busy imagining something just out of reach to strive for.

It leads me to say if you are unhappy or in pain, nothing will remove these surfaces. But acceptance and a strong heart will crack then like a shell, exposing a softness that has always been, exposing a soft thing waiting to take form. It glows. I think is the one spirit we all share.

This is from the book, "The Book of Awakening:Having the Life You Want By Present With the Life You Have" It has daily meditations and exercise to help bring you back to the present moment. I really liked this one about how the things you have are the things you should want. Makes me chuckle a little because when I get frustrated about the situations in my life I have to remember that this is what I wanted at some point, my life right now is the life I always said I wanted....Taking time to ponder this, helps you return to your true self. It is a good reminder of how to be thankful in the present moment. The things I have are the things I want...